Life not good right now

Hello. I will try to keep this short and give facts.
Graduate high school 1993
single, no kids. I'm not going to label myself as "bi" or "straight", I am just what I am. I have no lover at this time.
A.S. degree in Business 2006
Last job over 32 hours a week 2004-March 2007
B.S. degree in Business 2009
unemployment from 2007-Feb 2010
MBA earned Aug 2011
Now. . . .
HAD TO live off of stipend of $2K every 5 months (this was from the college, student loans) once my unemployment stopped in Feb 2010. I was getting $596 of unemployment. So, that is $400 a month from the stipend and if I had to get something that month - that means my $2k for 5 months, well .. . it all dried up before 5 months. You get the picture

Living with mom, she is 60 now. I'm an only child. She lost her job in Oct 2011 and is on unemployment - until March 2013 that is. And she can't afford to pay her property taxes and she can't get relief since her husband was not a 100% disabled veteran. He was only disabled 60% so the county says "We can't help you with property taxes" . Her house is paid off, but on less than $900 a month unemployment, she is not making all her bills. What will happen when her unemployment runs out? No one is going to hire her, she is freaking 60 years old!

I volunteer. Have been since 2010. A lot of good that is going. People say volunteer, it looks good a resume. Yeah right. Started feeding homeless through Spread Peace Perris in 2010. I didn't purchase food, I served it. I'm on food stamps $200 a month, I can't purchase food for others. That does not purchase my female needs each month. Does not purchase my Epsom salt to relax each week for my salt baths to relax. Nails done? I'm not that type of girl, but if I was, I can't afford it.

In Aug 2011, I started volunteering for a peer run center (mental health peer run center). I stopped that volunteer gig in April 2012 since I started to volunteer for Riverside County Dept of Mental Health as a peer support counselor at a local clinic.
I've been doing that since March 2012. I already put in over 85 volunteer working hours since March.

NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness. I went to there Peer to Peer class last year in June. 10 week class. I did it so I could possibility become a PAID mentor. But it is $500 for 10 weeks of work. Nothing ever came of it. I am still waiting to hear from anyone so I can be a mentor and I'm still getting the run around. Told I have to volunteer as a mentor, then told "You don't have to volunteer as a mentor first". I go to these meetings - these are NAMI meetings. They are to practice your speech. One is "In Our own Voice" and the other is "Parents and Teachers as Allies" and I have given about 10 speeches for IOOV and 3 for PATAA". I don't need to go to these meetings anymore to practice my speech (once every other Friday) - but if I go, I get paid $20 stipend for showing up. That is $40 a month! I feel like I'm being forced to go to these meetings for chunk change. I need the money. I need it. I'm not on SSDI, I don't qualify! I'm not disabled.

I also get $50 a month from the Dept of Rehab. Not about drinking or drugs for those that don't know. I don't need to give more speeches about my mental health depression when I was a teenager. I'm 37 now and I need to move on with my life and I need a freaking job. I have a freaking MBA.

I'm able bodied. Used to have major depression at age 16. Used to have GAD at 28. Now just have "5 years unemployed syndrome". And I'm angry. Very very very angry and I'm wondering when my anger will cease and when I will become 100% apathetic to all of life. When I loose my anger, I will know it is time to kill myself.

I've been passed up so many times for jobs -- it is unreal. I tell people to stop complaining if they have been looking for work for 2 years. I say "Try 5 years unemployed" They just look at me and say "how do you do it?" I say "I don't have a cell phone, I don't drive much, I don't do much. I just stay home, what can I do if I'm only getting $90 a month? I learn to live with much less than you do with your fancy cell phones!"

I'm on the Mid County Mental Health Board and you know what. I'm volunteering for that!!!! I don't get paid for that unless you consider .55 a mile and $16 a mont or $20 a month for GAS to get there a "pay check". I have been volunteering for a local mental health clinic as a peer support volunteer. Why should I have to volunteer for the county to prove myself to them as a peer counselor? I've had other jobs before and I know that I'm professional. No one needs to "watch me" for 8 months so I can become a PAID Full-time peer support counselor. I don't need to prove to anyone that I can work. I've had jobs before. I'm not stupid. I'm not smart person. And I"m not mental. These people act like people with a metal illness can't work.

I have an MBA. Hello? I did my school work, I've worked on teams before, and I kept a schedule. These people at the County Mental Health want to compare me to someone that has no work experience at all. Hello? I have organizational skills. I'm not overqualified to do a job, I'm not asking for some wow wee $50K a year job.

I'm just looking for PAID WORK. I'm DONE volunteering my time. I've done ENOUGH volunteering. I'm DONE. People can't see my value? Why? I don't know. They are freaking blind I guess. I know my worth, I'm worth $12 an hour.

My mom was earning $10 an hour and making it. I can pay my bills and my mom's bills if I was paid $12 an hour and how many MBA's do you know that ask for $12? Well, if they are working right now, they may not take anything less than $40K a year. But this girl . . . .me . .. I'm only asking for what a receptionist earn.
Am I asking too much for a freaking PAID JOB? I'm done volunteering. I put in my time since 2010. I don't need to volunteer for 30 hour a week.

I was tutoring in March, April and May 2012. I earned $177 in March, $240 in April and $300 in May and in June it went down to $40. I haven't tutored since June 2012. I need the income. I don't like tutoring, but it is something. And I was able to put some money back to start saving to see my therapist. Man I really miss that $300 a month. Am I asking too much for $300 a month? I don't want stupid hand outs. I want to WORK FOR MONEY. I want to WORK. I want to EARN my PAY. Not volunteer.

What will it be like when I'm over 40? It will be harder for me to get a job. People already look at me like "Why have you been unemployed for 5 years?" It is harder to get a job when you've been out of work for so long. Volunteer work? I don't see anyone at all valuing what I have been doing for 2 plus years. No ROI at all. So why do it? Why?

I've been putting in about 60 to 90 job applications each month since 2011 and nothing. I get interviews (I had 9 last year) and so far about 3 this year, and what do I get? I see others with no degree get jobs. I leave my MBA OFF of my resume and what does that do? Nothing. I was told I live in "No where USA, No where California". Oh that is really nice for me to hear. For those that don't know, I live in Perris CA, it is about 89 miles north of San Diego and 60 miles east of Long Beach. If you know of Riverside CA, then you know where Perris is. I didn't choose to move here, my mom and step dad did, in 1985 when I was 10. I came with them. I live on the east side of town not that far from Perris High. So, it is where I live that is stopping me from getting a job? Is that it? Well, I don't have friends that live in LA or OC. Sorry, the people I know, all live in the Inland Empire in Hemet, in Lake Elsinore etc.

So, long story short. I got an ovarian cyst (had it since 2007) and it grew from 4cm in Feb 2012 to 6cm in July 2012. Since August 2012, it has been really hurting, really bad. I need surgery, told that in July from an MD . . I"m just waiting and waiting for this county insurance to do something about the paperwork. So, I went to the ER the other day since I was in so much pain due to this thing growing in me. I was given Vicodin since the 600mg and 800mg of Motrin does not do the job. Well, guess what folks? That's right! I just may take two or three Vicodin tonight before I go to bed. Why live?

Why? When people with no education can get a job? Why? What is the point of me working so hard, applying to 60 jobs each month when I see someone that has not put in the time like I have and THEY get a job at $11 an hour and THEY don't even have a simple A.S. degree. Why should I even TRY ? I've put in so much work, so many hours volunteering people just don't even see me. I'm freaking invisible! No one see's me. No one cares about me. if they didn't they'd SEE THE WORTH OF MY VOLUNTEER WORK AND HIRE ME FOR PAY and I"D be EARNING $300 a week instead of being a stupid drain on society and asking for food stamps.

So, to save this world some money, I think I'm going to try to take my life. If I don't succeed in this endeavor, well I can always try again tomorrow or the next day or the next day. And we come up in March 2013 when my mom losses her unemployment. I think that may be a good time. Cuz I'm not waiting another 5 years for someone to hire an able bodied 37 year old.

welcome to the forum.....please don't do anything drastic....

there are many here willing to do anything they are able to do....

I did my share of "volunteering" with the drug rehab world......

i understand...

Sandra,

Don't give up! Keep fighting! You're only 37 years old. Your best years are ahead of you. All of your accomplishments will not go to waste. Your education is current. That's a major asset. Remember, you haven't failed, your leadership has failed you! Don't buy into any of this "new normal" crap!

Once this economy FINALLY begins to right itself, and companies therefor begin to hire again to meet all this pent-up demand, someone with your background and accomplishments will be sought after once again. I believe right after the election, no matter who is elected, you will see a positive change not only in the nation's outlook in general, but in the economy in particular.

Hang in there a little while more so that you can be a part of it!

elvis44102 wrote:welcome to the forum.....please don't do anything drastic....

there are many here willing to do anything they are able to do....

I did my share of "volunteering" with the drug rehab world......

i understand...

Well, I really don't want "help", what I really need is a job. And having a job, will give me purpose, will give me routine, will give me something to look forward each day, will give me the money I need for BASIC NEEDS. I've never yet a woman that needs pads on a monthly basis that can't get them. I guess all of the unemployed women I bump into are very conveniently - married or they have husbands that support them and they don't know what it is like to be single and money- less. I called 211 and they can't even help me. No place gives out free pads to women, all of these places just feed you until you are full, but no one thinks of blood. I'm so sick of being a woman, it's a man's life even when you are dirt poor.

jmainframe wrote:Sandra,

Don't give up! Keep fighting! You're only 37 years old. Your best years are ahead of you. All of your accomplishments will not go to waste. Your education is current. That's a major asset. Remember, you haven't failed, your leadership has failed you! Don't buy into any of this "new normal" crap!

Once this economy FINALLY begins to right itself, and companies therefor begin to hire again to meet all this pent-up demand, someone with your background and accomplishments will be sought after once again. I believe right after the election, no matter who is elected, you will see a positive change not only in the nation's outlook in general, but in the economy in particular.

Hang in there a little while more so that you can be a part of it!

I hope you are right. I know who I'm voting for since I don't pay a dime on this ObamaCare that I have, even if you have to to wait months and months to see a specialist and months to get surgery, I say if you are like me earning $100 a month, it is worth it. I used to pay $5 co pays and I can't afford even $5 co pays. I hope this election will change things. Cuz I can not hold on to this rope for 5 more years. I can't do it.

My hands are all calloused up and I feel very old even though I may be "young" to someone that may be 60 . . .I feel old since I'm not working and I just look at others with jobs and say "What do I have, that they don't? Why am I not good enough? They got the job, I didn't. Am I too short or something?" It is getting very old very quick.

Believe me, they have nothing that you don't have. Perhaps "they" were merely in the right place at the right time. Perhaps they were simply transfered (involunterally) to a different department months prior to their old department going away, that was completely unforeseen.

Being unemployed can make people feel tired and old. That's a normal reaction. But its nothing that a new permanent fulltime job won't cure in a very short period of time!

jmainframe wrote:Believe me, they have nothing that you don't have. Perhaps "they" were merely in the right place at the right time. Perhaps they were simply transfered (involunterally) to a different department months prior to their old department going away, that was completely unforeseen.

Being unemployed can make people feel tired and old. That's a normal reaction. But its nothing that a new permanent fulltime job won't cure in a very short period of time!

I don't consider 5 years unemployed a short period of time. And I know of two people that got jobs (one was not working at all, just hired on the spot after we did a NAMI IOOV presentation) and the other was transferred from another position in the same company. A person I know, said to me about a year ago, she'd recommend me to her boss for HER POSITION when she LEFT that position, and what happened? Well, she did just get offered another job. and you think she recommend me to her boss? Nope. Someone else got the job. Why do people LIE TO ME? I'm tired of being lied to. STOP lying to me. I'd rather be told nothing than be lied to. I'm sick of it all the games - the sucking up and everything. If you don't want to recommend me, then don't. But don't say you will, and then don't deliver. It's not right and friendships are not based on LIES

Sandra5yearsunemployed wrote: I don't consider 5 years unemployed a short period of time. And I know of two people that got jobs (one was not working at all, just hired on the spot after we did a NAMI IOOV presentation) and the other was transferred from another position in the same company. A person I know, said to me about a year ago, she'd recommend me to her boss for HER POSITION when she LEFT that position, and what happened? Well, she did just get offered another job. and you think she recommend me to her boss? Nope. Someone else got the job. Why do people LIE TO ME? I'm tired of being lied to. STOP lying to me. I'd rather be told nothing than be lied to. I'm sick of it all the games - the sucking up and everything. If you don't want to recommend me, then don't. But don't say you will, and then don't deliver. It's not right and friendships are not based on LIES

Sandra,

Do you know for a fact that she didn't recommend you for the position? Did she tell you this, or her former boss? Perhaps she did recommend you, but her boss STILL decided to go with someone else.

Yeah, politics at work is sleazy and disgusting! Sometimes it gets so bad that you literally need to take a shower when you come home with all the crap that gets thrown around. It's a miracle such few incidents occur at work than they do. I suppose the threat of never working again and/or jail time is enough to keep the vast majority of people in check.

jmainframe wrote:

Sandra5yearsunemployed wrote: I don't consider 5 years unemployed a short period of time. And I know of two people that got jobs (one was not working at all, just hired on the spot after we did a NAMI IOOV presentation) and the other was transferred from another position in the same company. A person I know, said to me about a year ago, she'd recommend me to her boss for HER POSITION when she LEFT that position, and what happened? Well, she did just get offered another job. and you think she recommend me to her boss? Nope. Someone else got the job. Why do people LIE TO ME? I'm tired of being lied to. STOP lying to me. I'd rather be told nothing than be lied to. I'm sick of it all the games - the sucking up and everything. If you don't want to recommend me, then don't. But don't say you will, and then don't deliver. It's not right and friendships are not based on LIES

Sandra,

Do you know for a fact that she didn't recommend you for the position? Did she tell you this, or her former boss? Perhaps she did recommend you, but her boss STILL decided to go with someone else.

Yeah, politics at work is sleazy and disgusting! Sometimes it gets so bad that you literally need to take a shower when you come home with all the crap that gets thrown around. It's a miracle such few incidents occur at work than they do. I suppose the threat of never working again and/or jail time is enough to keep the vast majority of people in check.

What I know is that she (person A) WAS going to recommend me her position once she left. It is the full-time peer support position she had. I guess someone (person B) (her boss, I don't know) knew about person B, working for another office (same company) and I guess person B was doing so good on her on-call position that her boss liked her so well, they want wanted to switch her person's A full-time peer support position.

I was told that she (person A) would NOW recommend me for a "mental health Rehab worker" but those you have to have a B.S. in psychology - checked the company website. I don't have that. I have a B.S. in business - AND those positions are 12 hour shifts, which I don't do 12 hour shifts. I do 8 or 10, but not 12.

And wouldn't you get this. Person B - her and I interviewed for the EXACT SAME POSITION back in Feb of this year - for a driver/group leader. She got hired since she had a van drivers license, class B. I only had class C. It was for an temporary job to last 3 months. Well that job didn't last 3 months, it lasted from more like 8 months. And when I interviewed for this position, the man said "Are you okay with taking a job that pays $12 an hour with your MBA?" I said "sure I am, I'm not on unemployment and I have no income, so yes, $12 an hour is better for me than $0 an hour". I guess I wasn't too convincing to him.

So, all I really know if that person A got my resume and she put it on a man's desk, I don't know if this man is her boss or not. And she told me that he'd like to hire me as an on-call staff, but no word on what position or hours. And he didn't call me at all last week and he is not in HR. So, I don't know if this person will EVER call me at all. I went on the company website and there is no opening for any on-call peer support or any on-call mental health rehab worker in Hemet. The 12 hour shifts are in Riverside or Pomona since that is where the mental health rehab workers - work.

I'm so sick of office politics. If someone says they will tell her boss about me, then go do it already. Enough is enough. guess I don't know the right people to get me through. I'm so sick of this 'You got to know someone' crap. If all you got to do is know someone, then WHY GO TO COLLEGE since employers don't value a college education anymore than they value your right to live. Employers could care less if their employees live or die.

Just think how worse off you'd be without those college degrees. At least you have that in your favor. If you want to work in the mental heath field, why get a MBA? Go back to community college and take some courses and get yourself a certificate in a field where jobs are in demand today. Sometimes a simple certificate from a community college or technical/vocational school will get you further than an MBA. It's not the number of degrees you have, it's what they specialize in.

Get yourself more training and lower your expectations. If you are applying for a job that only requires a 2 year degree, why tell them you have a master's degree. That's one strike against you right there.

smindles wrote:Just think how worse off you'd be without those college degrees. At least you have that in your favor. If you want to work in the mental heath field, why get a MBA? Go back to community college and take some courses and get yourself a certificate in a field where jobs are in demand today. Sometimes a simple certificate from a community college or technical/vocational school will get you further than an MBA. It's not the number of degrees you have, it's what they specialize in.

Get yourself more training and lower your expectations. If you are applying for a job that only requires a 2 year degree, why tell them you have a master's degree. That's one strike against you right there.

1. it costs MONEY to go back to school. I need student loans. I don't have any money of my own to go back to school. I am in 85K student loan debt right now and I funded all of UofR on student loans and all of Argosy University on student loans. Only my A.S. was covered by GRANTS and I did take out a $2K student loan in my last year of that 2 year college I went to - I purchased a much needed laptop. (even though I went there for 4 years since I was WORKING at the time and I couldn't go to classes full-time).
2. If I go back to a 2 year college, I wouldn't get into any classes Why? I have a B.S. degree and if I go back I will be put on the last of the last of the last on the waiting list since only those without a B.S. degree get first pick. So, I'm SOL with a 2 year college. I could LIE and say I don't have a B.S degree, but I'm sure I'd be found out
3. If I do go back to school, why would I pick a 2 year college? I am already looking into USC for their LCSW program. But that will not come of anything if I don't find employment. I don't need more school right now, I need a job first and THEN I can think about getting a masters degree in psychology.
4. I went to get my MBA in 2009 since I knew it would be easy. I already had my undergrad in business from University of Redlands so why not? I wanted to go into Human Resources. Not sales, not finance, not marketing. Only Human Resources. I was told to not get my MBA since it is not my passion. Well, I learned the hard way.

Everyone says go back to school, but people don't know that there is a limit on how much you can take out of student loans and I used both - unsub and sub loans. I can't get a private loan. My credit score is shitty since all of my credit cards are in collections and I need a freaking job. If someone would hire me already, i'd be able to get my wages garnished and I'd be able to pay at least one cc off.

Sandra,

Believe me, we all know how you feel. I agree, when you haven't worked for as long as we have, you are five, I am four, if I could get a loan, I don't know with everything else that's been let go for so long, would that be the responsible thing to do, with debts still unpaid. If we could get one.

It's hard, we are all disgusted but it's not over. Don't give up. I know it sounds like hollow words, but we just can't let them beat us.

Please keep posting. There are many things we can't do, but support you and give you a place to vent, we sure can.

Sandra,

Please apply through a temp agency like Go Staff or Robert Half. Apply as a "body", meaning laborer or similar. Work through them with the intent to "show your stuff" to the end client.

As each client gets to know you there's a very good chance that you will be brought on as a permanent hire. I have several friends that have done this approach and now are happily working for much more than initially paid through the temp agency.

Sometimes stepping stones are necessary to get back to where one was. Even in the areas of self worth and doubt.

Please let the past alone and take your first steps away and forward this week. I'll be anxious to read of your progress!

Muster up your inner strength. We're right here to support you. My heart is to yours.

macky

Well, unfortunately, I don't have any encouraging words....you can think positive just so much, have hope for just so long, and keep strong until the weight of it gets too heavy...after 3 years, never mind 5(wow), the encouragement gets old...the boost gets repetitious... I apologize, Sandra...but I guess I'm where your at....except for one thing, I'm much older than you are...therefore I deserve the right to give up!

mackylebourne wrote:Sandra,

Please apply through a temp agency like Go Staff or Robert Half. Apply as a "body", meaning laborer or similar. Work through them with the intent to "show your stuff" to the end client.

As each client gets to know you there's a very good chance that you will be brought on as a permanent hire. I have several friends that have done this approach and now are happily working for much more than initially paid through the temp agency.

macky

You know what? I was basically LAUGHED at when I went to a labour finders in Temecula way back in 2008. I didn't have my B.S degree yet and the others were saying "Why is someone like you here?" I said, "Because I need a job and I need to pay my bills that is why". What happened? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I got there at 7am and I wasted my time at that Labor Finders. Don't know about any place called Go Staff, must be in LA or some other place not in Riverside or Perris. And other temps don't want you unless you have RECENT WORK EXPERIENCE. You think I'm kidding? They all say "So what have you been doing?" I say "I've been volunteering my time" and you know what MJO in Perris said? They didn't RESPECT ME as a person, nor as a volunteer! They said, "THAT"S IT? Just volunteering? I said, "What? You mean you don't value me as a volunteer? I have been working for free and you don't value that?" No they don't. They want you to WORK FOR MONEY and the temp agencies all say "If you are not currently working, don't come here looking for work". Well you know what?

I can F them right now since what the F is the point of looking for work is you ALREADY HAVE A JOB? The temps can kiss my white A** for not even respecting me for volunteering my time at a local no for profit. I HATE TEMP AGENCIES. They never treated me like that back in the 1990s. Now VOLT won't even give me respect and VOLT put me to work in the early 1990s. They don't even consider GOING TO SCHOOL a job when we all know that going to school IS A JOB since you still have to work on TEAMS. Stupid Temp agencies. They can go to hell. They don't help you unless you are WORKING RIGHT NOW.

MarilynL wrote:Well, unfortunately, I don't have any encouraging words....you can think positive just so much, have hope for just so long, and keep strong until the weight of it gets too heavy...after 3 years, never mind 5(wow), the encouragement gets old...the boost gets repetitious... I apologize, Sandra...but I guess I'm where your at....except for one thing, I'm much older than you are...therefore I deserve the right to give up!

Well at least you get it. People say "hold on" and "hang in there" No. I don't think so . I have "hung in there" for 5 freaking YEARS and I'm so DONE. I am done and I am done and I am done. Look for work? Why? What does that do for me? All I get is more nos and more nos and more no. So why freaking live one for day on this GOD FORSAKING EARTH? Why look for work? I can't even GET on freaking unemployment since I haven't had a god damn job in over 5 years and my last temp job was TUTORING and guess what folks? You can't get on unemployed by being a tutor. Why? It is SEASONAL. The unemployment office knows that tutoring is SEASONAL and no one tutors during the stupid summer.

So much for taking a job that was only 2 freaking hours a week for 8 weeks. Unemployment only helps very few people. I'm so sick of life. Positive thinking my ass. I've done that for 5 years, and look where I got me. I'm still unemployed. I'm not sticking around for another 5 years being unemployed. If employers don't value me, why should I stick around and stay alive. If I kill myself I will write a letter to each and every single employer that passed me up and when I kill myself, the blood will be on their hands! Hope?


I have no hope. I'm better off dead. 5 years? I have yet to meet someone that has been unemployed in Riverside County for 5 long years and when I say unemployed, I'm talking about over 20 hours a week. I don't consider tutoring for 2 hours a week tutoring 1 child a JOB. that is a freaking JOKE. Club Z! In Home Tutoring is a JOKE!

mackylebourne wrote:Sandra,

Please apply through a temp agency like Go Staff or Robert Half. Apply as a "body", meaning laborer or similar. Work through them with the intent to "show your stuff" to the end client.

As each client gets to know you there's a very good chance that you will be brought on as a permanent hire. I have several friends that have done this approach and now are happily working for much more than initially paid through the temp agency.

macky

I've signed up with numeroux temp agencies in my area...maybe 4 of them exist?...heard from 1 of them during the last 3 years. And, unfortunately, the job she sent me to wanted to treat it like a regular permanent job, and I had to be interviewed for it. Well you know how that turned out! According to the temp agency, after I asked why I didn't get??? She said, the employer liked both of you (two of us were interviewed), but decided on the other one - Younger? , I asked Of course. So what good is going to a temp agency if you have to be interviewed for it first...they're not going to hire me if younger people get called in as well???

One thing for sure, you can really articulate your point or points!! I'm not with you on all of it, but I also gave up looking months and months ago. Mostly, because I have so many other family issues to deal with, and they are overwhelming enough without trying to work a min wage job at this time. I say min wage because that's all employers want to pay no matter how much exp you have in the job field. So, since I haven't earned a pay check since Feb 08, I can tell you; "I know how you feel", but that doesn't change your situation. Taking your life is not the answer either. I don't have one for you, but please don't do the latter. Someday this BS is going to turn around is all I can say. God Speed my friend.

I have no hope. I'm better off dead. 5 years? I have yet to meet someone that has been unemployed in Riverside County for 5 long years.

First off, I know Perris, CA and my son and I have been unemployed for 4 1/2 and 4 years in Riverside County. He turned 33 two days ago. I have a Masters as well and many years experience with basically 2 companies. I get no bites. I'm too old. You're not. My husband got a job after 3 years. Don't give up. We're not...

Sad American wrote:I have no hope. I'm better off dead. 5 years? I have yet to meet someone that has been unemployed in Riverside County for 5 long years.

First off, I know Perris, CA and my son and I have been unemployed for 4 1/2 and 4 years in Riverside County. He turned 33 two days ago. I have a Masters as well and many years experience with basically 2 companies. I get no bites. I'm too old. You're not. My husband got a job after 3 years. Don't give up. We're not...

Perris is the shittiest place to live (as in the city). When you say Perris, people thin the WORST. I'm wondering if it is where I live? I don't know. I mean, the house we live in is fine. We have a 1600 sq feet home. It's not an apartment and we don't live down town on 7th street. It's not all that of a nice nice nice neighborhood,but it is okay. I mean, it IS Perris, but geez, people act like Perris is South Central LA or something! It's not that bad!

No jobs in Perris either. Stupid city council is blocking growth to the city and the mayor is about 75 or 80 years old and I interviewed him back in 2010 for my nonprofit and government leadership class. He does not see Perris getting any better with jobs. He has NO VISION. He said "Perris is a blue colour town , no office jobs are going to come here" Yeah, cuz you keep on stopping them from coming here!" Target was to come in here after the 4th street overpass was done. That's been done for 6 months now. Still, no Target. We need JOBS in Perris and NO MORE SILLY FACTORY JOBS!

I hate the City Council they don't even live in the city. The City Manager couldn't even answer my questions on my interview with him. he said "refer to the PDF file we have on our website" that is all he said. Probably wants to keep his job.

This county is going to the dogs.

I still journey out to Perris for Eastern Municipal Water District meetings. I was a Director on the San Jacinto River Watershed Council for many years.
I helped write a watershed management plan for the San Jacinto River with the most amazing group of farmers, dairy farmers, city, county, state and federal agencies, the Soboba Band and community folks, among others. I represented Sierra Club, Audubon, CBD and Friends of the Northern San Jacinto Valley. And nobody usually likes us! Our watershed plan rocks. We negotiated. We compromised. We finished with an excellent plan. Your "electeds" never showed. They sent a consultant! (He actually was an engineer and hydrologist who knew his stuff. Amazing.)
So I never worked with your old Mayor or City Council. Most Mayors look ancient. Some even are...

I did get paid for a Steampunk photo shoot in Perris at the Orange Empire Railway Museum recently. Cool museum. I've been there many times...

You came to the right place to get that rage out!!

Honey... I am SO sorry to hear your situation. No, I am so ANGRY. There are so many like you in this country who live in places where there are literally no opportunities, even when you try, as you have. I know it may be expensive to ensure individual success, but I think we need to have the mindset that if an individual such as yourself can fail, then we all fail. It's not like you have been throwing away all of your opportunities, you have done all the right things, it is THEIR fault that you are in this situation.

With that said, please don't do anything drastic. Please, please, please. You may think you are doing the world a favor, but your Mother, your friends, even us here would be less rich if you were no longer in it, if only in spirit. You or your descendants could make a real difference some day, especially if you are ever interested in getting into politics, so don't give up now. You have come too far to let THEM win.

I completely hear you on the feminine issues. The way women are treated in this country doesn't give us an even playing field... even when it comes to something as small as our monthly cycles. That is what happens in 3rd world countries- when the girls can't go to school because it is that time of the month. This should never happen here!!

I can't give you any advice on the job front, but I think there has been a decent amount of tips here already. What I can give you is some leads on getting your feminine issues taken care of. No woman should be living with painful cysts! I mean, you could end up with cancer! My roommate in college had ovarian cancer at the age of 20, so it is nothing to take lightly. Is there a Planned Parenthood or women's health center anywhere in your area? Even if you have to drive a ways or get a ride from someone, I recommend trying to find one. I was able to get free care there. I had my Mirena put in for free while I was uninsured (sadly, "Obamacare" has been too little too late), and now I barely have periods at all (I save so much money), and my husband and I don't have to worry about having children before we can care for them. These places can also help you with pads and tampons.

If this is not possible, try these options for feminine products (Learned these from a birth control blog- I apologize if I'm not allowed to post these things here! I'm not a spam bot!):

-Local schools, community centers, and colleges are always stocked with free pads and condoms. I know that might sound shady to ask them, but it is worth a try if you're desperate.
-Companies that manufacture feminine products have programs and free samples available for women in your situation. Google offers and coupons as much as you can. Here is one link: http://www.tampax.com/en-US/couponsSamples/couponsSamples.aspx and another: http://www.beinggirl.com/
-Sometimes companies can also provide you with free samples of birth control- they don't always help with cysts or periods (I have actually grown some cysts since switching brands), but it's worth a try.

Again- don't give up. Make small goals for yourself to achieve. Daily, weekly, and monthly goals and what steps you need to complete to achieve them. Take some time out of job searching to research organizations and programs that can help you with your immediate needs, and maybe even long-term needs if things continue like this.

JadeBlue wrote:You came to the right place to get that rage out!!

Honey... I am SO sorry to hear your situation. No, I am so ANGRY. There are so many like you in this country who live in places where there are literally no opportunities, even when you try, as you have. I know it may be expensive to ensure individual success, but I think we need to have the mindset that if an individual such as yourself can fail, then we all fail. It's not like you have been throwing away all of your opportunities, you have done all the right things, it is THEIR fault that you are in this situation.

With that said, please don't do anything drastic. Please, please, please. You may think you are doing the world a favor, but your Mother, your friends, even us here would be less rich if you were no longer in it, if only in spirit. You or your descendants could make a real difference some day, especially if you are ever interested in getting into politics, so don't give up now. You have come too far to let THEM win.

I completely hear you on the feminine issues. The way women are treated in this country doesn't give us an even playing field... even when it comes to something as small as our monthly cycles. That is what happens in 3rd world countries- when the girls can't go to school because it is that time of the month. This should never happen here!!

Is there a Planned Parenthood or women's health center anywhere in your area? Even if you have to drive a ways or get a ride from someone, I recommend trying to find one. These places can also help you with pads and tampons.

If this is not possible, try these options for feminine products (Learned these from a birth control blog- I apologize if I'm not allowed to post these things here! I'm not a spam bot!):

-Local schools, community centers, and colleges are always stocked with free pads and condoms. I know that might sound shady to ask them, but it is worth a try if you're desperate.
-Companies that manufacture feminine products have programs and free samples available for women in your situation. Google offers and coupons as much as you can. Here is one link: http://www.tampax.com/en-US/couponsSamples/couponsSamples.aspx and another: http://www.beinggirl.com/
-Sometimes companies can also provide you with free samples of birth control- they don't always help with cysts or periods (I have actually grown some cysts since switching brands), but it's worth a try.

Again- don't give up. Make small goals for yourself to achieve. Daily, weekly, and monthly goals and what steps you need to complete to achieve them. Take some time out of job searching to research organizations and programs that can help you with your immediate needs, and maybe even long-term needs if things continue like this.

Thank you for this. I needed to hear that. I don't have kids, but I may have a lover some day and we may want to have kids someday. I do not need to be on any birth control since I"m not having sex and I had to even say that I'm a lesbian since when I was on MISP they would (the nurses) would not allow me to have a pap for free since they wanted me to LIE and say that I was using "some kind" of birth control. MISP contracted with Family Planning to get paps. Family Planning or Family PACT. What? Getting a pap has nothing do to with having babies!

When I told them "But not having sex IS a form a birth control! You can't have babies if you don't have sex" they wanted to charge me $80 to get a pap since I was not having sex! So glad RCHC covers paps for ALL women now, those women not having sex and lesbians! I filed a grievance with my md office back in 2007 for that stunt. I haven't had a pap in all of 2008-2011. I got one in Feb of this year since RCHC covers them. MISP didn't cover any preventive health care at all.

I didn't know I could go to a planned parenthood to get monthly needs. That is good to know since I called a place in Moreno Valley and I left a message for them, they never called me back. I was told from 211 to call God's Helping Hand, but no call back. 211 don't help at all. Ever. Not with female monthly needs. And I called another place and they said they have a "Store". I said, "What, I need them for FREE, I don't make $600 a month like some people". They just said "Sorry".

I'm so sick of people not feeling or thinking about other women. It is STILL a man's world and MEN get jobs first too! And I don't want to go on birth control pills. Why should I do that when I want to go the natural route and go toward holistic health? Why should I be FORCED to take the "pill" just because I'm "poor"? Do poor women have to be force to have no periods? That does NOT seem right to me.

This is my body and I don't want to miss up my body and my system. Birth control mest me up really bad years back. I will never do that again. I can shrink this cyst naturally with Evening Primrose Oil. That costs $10 a month (per bottle) and I am going to get some next month. I also take (currently) Milk Thistle (that helps to shrink it by cleaning out the liver. Fish Oil, Beat Carotene, Garlic, and I eat a LOT of fruit and veggies since I'm a vegetarian. I don't take them everyday since I can't afford to purchase all of my vitamins/mineral and herbs each and every month.

Meat is pumped with hormones and can make those cysts grow! I try to take whatever I can to keep my estrogen levels low so to make sure this thing don't grow. I wish I had known about these things back in 2007. . .that is when I first found out I had a cyst and it was only 2cm back in 2007.

I just don't think it is right to force women to take birth control and of course I've been asked so many times "Do you take birth control from your cyst" and I tell them 1. It is too big for that, it needs to come out and 2. I don't go that route, I go the holistic route and the natural route.

It is wonderful to have the OPTION to have birth control and all women should have that option to them IF the woman wants it! But for Christ sake, don't force it on women! AND - if I did get birth control, I'd still have to PAY to get the GAS MONEY to get up to the medical center in Moreno Valley to GET the pill each month!!! ha ha ha. So, I wouldn't be saving any money if I just put $8 in the gas tank each month for the pill or $8 a month for the pads.

For the past 4 months, my mom has been purchasing them for me and I ran out. I hate it when my mom has to purchase EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING for me. God, what a drag man. I am a burden on her! I need to earn my pay so I can do this myself, I'm not a teenager! I hate feeling like a silly teenager when I'm 37. I had to ask someone at a church that was giving out food if they could get me some pads last month. At least I have enough for next month.

mobs, please pray for early menopause and take this conversation to the Chatbox at the bottom. Some guys here are uncomfortable with this stuff. Geeeeesh!

smindles wrote:mobs, please pray for early menopause

Huh? Pray for early menopause? Why would I want that when I'm 37 and I don't have kids! I was just trying to respond to another person's post asking me if I'm on birth control, which I am. I don't have sex. It's free, and no MD appointment needed. I will know now to not answer questions about birth control since some may feel really icky about that topic.