Unemployed and Depressed

So I've been unemployed for two years and I've tried everything under the sun to look for work. Well apparently it hasn't been enough for my folks who I am currently living with. My father who divorced my mother two years ago, has now just shown up and decide to work things out with my mom. Well long story short, I just got yelled at for not trying hard enough to look for work. And as he stated "You are a child of God. What effects the world shouldn't effect you. You should be able to find work, etc, etc, etc," "And I just drove a guy to Michigan works the other day and they are training him to work because businesses can't find experienced workers. And there's no reason you can't do what he's doing." etc, etc, etc.. Basically in a nut shell I was told to get over my depression and go find a job or at least get training for one that probably won't even hire me considering I'd be applying for the job alongside fifty other people. At this point, I'm getting ready to throw the towel in.

welcome to the forum......

Some people that have not been in our position just cannot imagine it..

We feel your pain...but we are also hear for you to vent...feel free to.

I feel your pain. I am lucky I don't hear to many complaints from my family. Most of them are looking for work as well!! I do have a few friends that have said as much to me. I just tell them wait until it is you that needs a job. Being over 50 now I truely to wonder if I will ever be hired for an office job again!!!!

lam wrote:I feel your pain. I am lucky I don't hear to many complaints from my family. Most of them are looking for work as well!! I do have a few friends that have said as much to me. I just tell them wait until it is you that needs a job. Being over 50 now I truely to wonder if I will ever be hired for an office job again!!!!

You an me both...I went on an interview, that had 24 waiting to be interviewed after me... I'm not holding my breath!

America, the Land of Opportunity if you are willing to work hard. That is no longer true. All opportunity is being shifted away. How can a person make plans for the future knowing that gainful employment is no longer a part of the picture. Knowing that the older we get, the less chance we have of finding a job. Knowing that the longer we are out of work we are less and less likely to pass the strenuous credit check or the "recent" references check. The corporate-owned news is not devoting any time to this mass unemployment crisis. People that are newly unemployed are losing it when they personally discover how much the job market has decayed.

If con-gress spent as much time trying to solve the problem as they do figuring out ways to cut benefits and deny every life-line, we could at least begin the road to recovery. We have been at the exact same spot since 2008. If anything, the situation has gotten worse. Nothing has changed for the better, and there are no plans, no discussions, about making any changes for the better.

I saw a campaign ad on tv expressing outrage that welfare reform is going to eliminate the work requirement. What work?? Because this government can't stop vacationing long enough to attempt to fix the problem, more and more of us will need to turn to welfare in order to eat and have a roof over our children's heads (or risk losing our children to some government-run facility). Yet, we will need to work for that assistance. What work??

Our votes must be extremely important to them because they are spending multi-millions to convince us that they know what's best of us. So far, they don't appear close to getting around to even thinking about what is best for this country. They sure are plenty concerned about what is best for their personal bank accounts.

Welcome to the forum. The grief you are getting from your parents is quite common. They remember is being fairly easy to find a job; well, times have changed.
I would defend yourself with the cold hard facts that there simply aren't enough jobs out there for the amount of jobless.
I think things may of improved slightly in some areas but in others it's gotten worse.
Hang in there my friend.

Marilyn L thanks I know I have been interviewed way to many times with at least 30 people and Lord knows how many resumes the employer went through before interviewing.

Welcome DepressedandAlone. People with living wage jobs just don't get it. To them periods of inactivity may appear to them as laziness but it is that sometimes our resilience can wear thin at times and we need to heal. What we are going through is extremely draining and it takes a lot of time and money. Most of us do not want to be a burden to others. If we have no emotional support then we get depressed.

Many years ago, our mindset had to change from thinking that stay at home moms didn't work. That has changed. It appears to people that the unemployed are not working. We are but not getting paid. We budget with little or nothing and still make it on time to an interview. Practice exemplary people handling skills to put on a brave face even though we feel like crying. Bounce back from blow after blow yet still have a positive thing to say to a person with a job when they say they have had a bad day.Proofread and edit resumes until they are flawless. We look for work on little sleep, long hours and no vacation. Learn new skills even though it may not pan out.

Invisiblecitizen, the welfare political ad was the lowest of low blows. Nothing concrete on how to put people back to work but can use political ad money to make people on welfare look lazy. Romney has no jobs plan but still maintains this track he is on by telling us the things he is going take from us.

I still find it so disturbing that people can spend gobs of money on politicians' campaigns yet don't want to pay more in taxes. Billionaires and millionaires would not be giving away that kind of money if politicians weren't a sure bet.

Exactly! Very well said need_a_break. What kind of plan for America lays off more people (to cut the spending) so that more and more people will be applying for the same part-time low-wage job or two? There is a post at Daily Kos suggesting that the retirement age be temporarily lowered to 55, and the social security benefits raised by 15%. That would open up jobs for younger people, and give the elderly a better chance to make ends meet. Billionaires would be delighted to give millions more to our policicians to make sure that never happens.

To follow on what DepressedAndAlone said about retraining. Most employers won't train - why spend that money. And when we spend the time and money to retrain, what is the first thing we are hit with? "But you have no (or not enough) experience" (followed by a bewildered look).

need_a_break wrote:I still find it so disturbing that people can spend gobs of money on politicians' campaigns yet don't want to pay more in taxes. Billionaires and millionaires would not be giving away that kind of money if politicians weren't a sure bet.

Needabreak: I am so with you on that one. I don't think we have any good choice for president this year, One with no plans and one who has zillions but hasn't come thru yet. I am so tired of seeing money spent by millionairs and billionaires all in the wrong places. Oh, they say they give to plenty of charities that we don't hear about...but some of those chariety organizations are just ridiculous, and I find it absurb that, after millions have been donated, they haven't found either a cure, or a solution. yet there are people in their own home town that are probably stuck in shelters or are barely getting by, and they don't see that???? I am all for taxing the rich.....In my spiritual beliefs, I don't think God intended on this world to be so lopsided, and not think it's wrong that people are not taking care of one another. No I do not begrudge the rich, but I don't believe that the most of them got there without a sense of greed and selfishness, and that's what I am appalled by.

When you are an equity firm that purchases a company with the intentions to bankrupt it to make a profit, you are responsible for endangering the health of those employees that then lose their health insurance and their subsequent death due to the lapse or loss of the health insurance. The stress also probably brings on the illnesses.

need_a_break wrote:When you are an equity firm that purchases a company with the intentions to bankrupt it to make a profit, you are responsible for endangering the health of those employees that then lose their health insurance and their subsequent death due to the lapse or loss of the health insurance. The stress also probably brings on the illnesses.

Yup, and that's exactly what happened to me...worked with a company for 20 years, until the holding company sold to a big corporation, for one reason...to close and use us as a write off!!

Hi all. Just checking in. Good to vent and get it off your chest. I think we've all been there. Not enough direct experience in their field, closing up the entire company for profit (for them) and sadly, no prospects at all. In NJ we are still sitting at 9.5% Some days I think we all feel we couldn't buy a job. It's good to have this site to vent to.

I keep saying it will get better for all of us, but I am not really sure anymore that it will in time for most of us. At 57 some days I don't think I will ever find a job, but then some of our members have found employment and it gives me hope for all.

I really encourage all to read the Platform thread. There is a great article in there from A. Delaney, Huff Post. I have been emailing my State Reps and Senators today regarding this. It sounds like a great program. Every state should consider this.

When is enough - enough? My sister who has a job but husband does not and has not for yrs (MBA)...a daughter in jail and facing time at 20...she has a house. She has insurance. She did her best as a mother. Her own siblings w the exception of me, abandoned her (as well as myself). In explaining the reality of permanent unemployment to her - thought she would understand. She understands depression now. She did not before and used to stigmatize and cast off anyone who has it.

I called her after a few wks to see how she was. SHE WAS. No one calls me.

She does not understand that it is NOT just ATL that is suffering. It is all people all ways and everywhere. She is not facing the truth and reality of hearing stomach roaring from no food. She knows it exists. But as she said - she does not want to hear about how I get so depressed I want to quit.

My mom doesn't either.

There are days I cannot handle facing another second of this sht....and somehow beg and plead to hang on one more day.

I did get training last yr. And it did NOTHING to help me land a job.

WHY DONT YOU TRY THIS - how many times have each of us heard this crap.

My mom says its so bad I almost cant listen to it. OF COURSE YOU CANT. Because you live in an elite NH with an elitist outlook. Your own kid is a disappointment to you. I failed YOUR dream. Out damned spot.

They look at the homeless with pity and claim to have done all this philanthropic BS all their lives...but have no use for their own families. Boyfriends, wives, husbands and GFS leaving their loved ones because of joblessness. Where is the family now?

Yeah - get over the depression. WHICH ONE? The economic or personal? Which ever - don't look into the eyes of your failure kid.

Your sister. Your brother.

Giving me a place to crash does not fix what is unfixable at this point. Sometimes we need to say how it is and how we feel. Or do we? To people who cant handle how bad it feels to feel like throwing in that towel.

Its about being on antidepressants and not being able to afford them - or the Dr who prescribes them. No insurance. So do you pay your electric or the medication that keeps you moving just a little bit? Do you feed yourself or starve that day? Do you pay your cell phone bill with the few cents you may have? Or do you pay the water bill? Do you tell anyone how much this is killing you or STFU and GET OVER being depressed?

All those people we helped in life when life was good. Where are they now?

I was only valuable as a WIFE a GF MOM or KID so long as I had hope and income? I was only worth something so long as I felt happy and wanted to believe in better?

God Forbid anyone knows the truth about how bad some of us feel. God forbid we bring up the exit plan. Sometimes we just need to vent. To talk. Because we dont have resources. We don't have any means. Support of any kind.

Yes it MUST BE ATLANTA only, Dear sister. And when YOUR stomach rubles and you dare mention the word SUICIDE or wish you were dead rather than living under a bridge living cold hungry and alone...FFS do NOT reach out and talk about AMERICAS DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. The invisible people.

If you ONLY tried harder. if you ONLY did this or that. Have you tried this? You should do X Y OR Z. You are in your own way.

OMG IF I HEAR THIS ONE MORE TIME.

When their turn is up maybe they will know it is NOT a weakness to be depressed - it is a reality. So is this crisis.

She said DONT TELL ME ABOUT HOW BAD YOU FEEL I CANT LISTEN TO THIS.

That IS my point Dear SISTER. You may not have to listen to it - THAT is my point. And I made a mistake in reaching out to you today as before in thinking you could understand.

THANK YOU for letting me know I am invisible. And that with you it is every man for himself.

See you in line.

(end of rant)

Keep on ranting if need be, we are listening, and we know where you are. I certainly understand how you are feeling, I understand what those other people make you feel like, I've been there and still am. Haven't heard from my only sibling in weeks; I don't call her either, because I have nothing new to report to her...so why bother. But does she call me just to see how I am? Of course not. My mother, at 92, is out of it...when I tell her that homelessness is just around the corner, she barely understands what that means, and never asks me about the next day...she's completely forgotten about it. My friends e-mail me and ask why I haven't been my jovial self lately, and when I say that I have nothing to be jovial about, they never reply back...they don't even asky why, because they don't want to hear it.

Someday we hope they will understand,what we've gone thru, but if they don't I know that the man upstairs is listening, and he's the only hope I have, and my only reason to go on.

Marilyn

First, thank you for listening. I know you know I know...you know. Cmon. Be jovial dammit. JK.


Life resembles an out of focus sepia colored ghost town. One of those nightmares one is a stranger unto themselves in their own skin. The faces that were familiar are reduced to photographic memory. Almost dream like at times.

I used to have nightmares of screaming for help but no voice came out. Now I am awake. And like a good girl, should never complain or say how afraid I am. To try to change minds of those who have no idea what this is like. The minds like that of your "friends" and sister.

This whole thing is not new to me. It is, however, at a critical juncture & feels like suffocation.

Hard to describe. But I have the distinct understand you get the entire picture.

I am posting after reading this forum for a long time. it takes courage to do it. At least for me.

So with that, I thank you for sharing your story. As hard as it is to know how people are hurting, I embrace it for more understanding.



SUPERHUG

Comeback, and vent anytime...please!

Merci.

Hi, I've been unemployed for over 5 years and my unemployment "benefits" are exhausted--No income whatsoever, except from my family, and I'll probably have to move in with them soon. It will be crowded, and 40 years of being independent doesn't seem to matter.

What's aggravating is the political atmosphere telling me it's my fault and I should be ashamed--while Wall Street bankers get bailed out with millions and seem to be exempt from the law.

I agree...I'm tired of having to explain to everyone why I can't find a job. I'm tired of people thinking I'm not looking hard enough. But that's why this site is here, to realize we are not alone. This forum alone can give us back our self esteem that we have lost from listening to others criticise our status. Let them do all the talking they want...judge me all they want..I know what the truth is...those on this site know the truth, and that alone helps me to get up in the morning.

And yes, Wall Street will always be wall street! I just hope that I don't see them in their black suits and white shirts when I enter the heavenly gates, because I will surely have questions for the almighty one.

I feel you.

My own husband does this to me. Every other day, it's some comment about how I need to give my resume in person (uh, that will get security on your ass really quick these days), I need to keep pestering people after I have an interview (for the record, I have never walked out without being offered a job or a second interview, if they were interested), etc.

He doesn't even understand my field and hasn't worked a real job in over 2 years, so I just ignore him. Unfortunately, it's really hurtful when they start offering professional coaching, as if your personality is to blame.

No one understands what it's like now. Even if they pretend to. Employees these days are completely disposable and not worth the time or effort to even send a rejection letter. How can someone thrive like that?

I've hired hundreds of employees over the past 30 years.

The key to getting hired, whether or not there is an opening, is to customize your approach. If not, you won't stand out or get an interview.

Companies hire people to solve problems (both positive and negative). Your ability to uncover your target employers problems and position yourself as the solution is what will get you hired even when there are no job postings.



Here are a few potential problem areas. Completing projects on time and on budget, improve product quality, improve service, increase sales, reduce costs, enhance online marketing, etc.



Bob Prosen

CEO

The Prosen Center
for Business Advancement
www.mycareeraccelerator.com