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Need advice on how to handle bad advice

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Need advice on how to handle bad advice

Post by 52 and Frightened on Fri May 20, 2011 5:59 pm

Do they really mean well? Been hearing things like "just let your sisters go - if they cared about you they wouldn't let you live in a homeless shelter.". Another favorite "you just need to accept that you will never have a good job and need to lower your standards, forget about a nice home, savings account, health insurance (list goes on) again. I am stunned by this - not to mention the comments and emails about jobs that I've already applied for or aren't really 'jobs.'. I have sent out hundreds of resumes and became a 99er in October 2010. Not only have I lost my job, home, beloved cats, I am now homeless and destitue without any help or emotional support from 'friends' or family. I am 52 with a degree from a great school, never in trouble with the law, drugs or alcohol, basically single woman with no kids or husband obeying the law and paying my taxes. Now people treat me like I'm scum. I can't get a handle on that pain on top of all the loss already. Any advice? Can you relate? I really want to die.

52 and Frightened

Posts : 5
Join date : 2011-05-20

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Re: Need advice on how to handle bad advice

Post by Guest on Fri May 20, 2011 6:14 pm

Welcome to the forum 52 and Frightened. Im sorry for what you are going through. I think you will find that many people here can relate.

If you are feeling suicidal please dont give up! Call this number, they have helped so many people in our position


Please know that you ARE important!

I think most really do mean well, but are just ignorant of what its really like to be in our shoes.

As far as accepting it, if we all excepted defeat the country would not have come as far as it has. We HAVE to fight. You do not have to accept it. It is a long grueling fight but eventually most of us will win in one way or another.

When I hear people say "just give it up, its the new america..accept your fate" It makes me want to fight harder. We do not have to nor should we accept this!!"

As awful and hopeless as things seem now, I truly believe that most of the unemployed will find their rightful place in the working world again. We may have to stand up and fight for it, but it will happen. We would not have had civil rights or womens rights etc.
if everyone back then "accepted" the way things were.

We are here for you and please feel free to vent anytime. We are all in this together. You will not be judged here.


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Re: Need advice on how to handle bad advice

Post by Guest on Fri May 20, 2011 6:27 pm

Well, I'm certainly hoping that your sisters have their own problems in this world. Probably don't have any room for you, or simply can't afford to let you stay with them, etc. As for the others, people are scared, they actually don't want to believe that this unemployment crisis is real. It's so much easier for all of them to look the other way. I think that they really do have feelings for you, they really don't mean to make you feel like scum (your words, not mine). They probably think telling you to "let go" will make you more at peace. Almost like if a person has a terminal illness, you want to tell them that it's ok to let go, stop fighting it, etc. But, and this is big BUT, you cannot do that and you won't be defeated. Eventually, something is going to give and you will be back on your feet again. I believe that for all of us.


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