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How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

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How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Jobless_in_Ma on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:25 pm

I think we can all agree that being long term unemployed takes its toll on individuals as well as families. How do you deal with all the effects of being long term unemployed?

I beleive this topic could be useful for those who are struggling to deal with the day to day.

Please offer your coping mechanisms and any advice you may have for those who are struggling to hang on.


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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:44 pm

I have all of you and I have Rich. I am lucky, this has really not taken a toll on us, but it has with some members of my family.

I advocate every day, makes me feel like I am not taking this lying down. I still apply for jobs every day. Then I know I can't be considered "not looking".

I take a walk or use OnDemand and do at least 20-30 minutes of exercise, clears the head.

I make sure I keep up with things around the house, that way nothing gets overwhelming.

As silly as it sounds, I make sure I get showered, make up and hair every day, look better, feel better - just keeps me from getting into the habit of letting go.

If I see someone who might need help carrying a bag or finding something or putting out the trash, I help.

Make sure to keep current on issues in your neighborhood and state. Not just politics either. New playground, new street work. Keeping your mind working while we may not still have a 9-5 really helps.

Most important to me I have learned is to really listen to others and their various points of view. I have learned alot, not just about the unemployed, but about the workings of our township, the elderly, childrens issues, parents issues. Helps me to understand someone else who shares a different view of things that I do.

I also like to try different "low cost recipes. I always so these ads for low cost meals and dinner on a budget, so now I try them. Some have been great, but some have been duds.

My favorite, reaching out to members and getting to know them. I feel I have made some great friends here and it has helped more than I can say. I have been more honest with most of you on my feelings since this has happened that I have with anyone but Rich and I feel that you all are the truest of friends, regardless of our views, we unconditionally care for one another.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:45 pm

Oh, and I forgot one thing, shovel snow. But now I need to find something else since we're getting warmer now. (not that I'm complaining)!!!

Guest
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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:46 pm

MaryKay, your post is great! You have so many good ideas to keep going.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:50 pm

One of the things that helps me to get through the day, are sites like this one. I can't tell you how many times these caring people have pulled me back from a bad place. One of them was when I was having serious thoughts of suicide. My immediate family are not the best when it comes to moral support or just plain old caring from their heart, and If not for many who now reside at this site, I can honestly say, I would not be typing this now. So to me, being with people who share the same or almost the same problems as I, helped to create an inner strength of which I never new I had.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Jobless_in_Ma on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:52 pm

Amen Knarf!

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:58 pm

Thanks Jane. It just works for me. I admit when it first happened back in June 2008, for about a week I did the pj's and pity. Then my Dad got sick and I was on the run for 6 months straight. Wound up living up there for 4 of them and thankfully, got him through it. But I learned that keeping busy and staying current helped me as much as it was helping him. I also learned alot about the workings of the medical community and insurance community with regards to the elderly. I learned the elderly in many cases have no one and need an advocate, especially when they get sick. But mostly I learned that if I didn't get myself "up", no one would do it for me and I found my outlook wasn't as bleek as if I just gave up.

And may I add, you do an excellent investigative job and keep us well informed. I admire your skills and tenacity.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:02 pm

MaryKay wrote:And may I add, you do an excellent investigative job and keep us well informed. I admire your skills and tenacity.

Thank you for the compliment. Smile It was a skill I developed while in college as a non-traditional student. I graduated with a 3.97 (or was it 3.96 gpa) in May 2009.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by evw59 on Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:11 pm

Knarf wrote:One of the things that helps me to get through the day, are sites like this one. I can't tell you how many times these caring people have pulled me back from a bad place. One of them was when I was having serious thoughts of suicide. My immediate family are not the best when it comes to moral support or just plain old caring from their heart, and If not for many who now reside at this site, I can honestly say, I would not be typing this now. So to me, being with people who share the same or almost the same problems as I, helped to create an inner strength of which I never new I had.
hey knarf! good to see you here. I think you've helped more people then you may realize

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:23 pm

Hey evw59, thank you for that, but I believe it's a community effort.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:28 pm

knarf, you have a place in many hearts. We all have experienced the hurt at the hands of family and that's what makes this place so special. The other thing that makes "us" special is the fact that we have survived this without judging each other for our views.

You as well as all here should be proud of the inner strength we have and have strengthened since the start of this mess. My personal feeling is that those who try to put us down, not only fear this, but don't have the strength we have shown and will continue to show to get us through and as bad as we may feel and as bad as it gets some days we continue to fight and to be here for one another. I personally don't think our detractors would be able to take it for a month.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:56 pm

My husband deals with it by staying active. Since his lay off he has been helping me with household chores, we get up in the morning and get the kids off to school together. We help my mother in law with alot of her daily chores and errands. Helping others is definitely uplifting. Now that the good weather is coming we are planning on taking walks together too.

I also stay informed and am always wanting to learn something new. That has helped me alot and keeps my mind stimulated.

The support received by people on this site is also a big part of how I cope.I started off looking for info about unemployment for my husband, and ended up meeting some great friends here. I dont know where I would be without the support you all have given me. There are many great people here.

Another important part of coping for me and my husband is advocating. Although it is sad and frustrating at times, it feels great to be a part of something so important. It really keeps me going and I have learned so much.

When we need to take time and just forget about everything for a few hours, we watch movies.(usually action movies) Movies keep our mind occupied long enough to get relief from everyday stress. Its my "great escape" from reality.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Redpossum on Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:40 pm

How do I deal with it?

Not very damn well at all, to tell the sad old truth Smile

I think I am slowly going "Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs"

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Brain Droppings on Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:42 pm

Exercise, planning my day/week, attending networking events (i.e. step away from the keyboard), cocktails w/ friends, chores, reading, ...

Basketball

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Kathy on Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:23 pm

I joined a site online that was about something I have always been interested in. I am able to talk to others about the things I like. Kinda like sharing around the water cooler at work! I miss that interaction with co-workers.

I am embarrassed to say that I am more involved in politics than I ever was before. Now I pay attention to what our government is doing.

Thanks for some great tips!

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Jobless_in_Ma on Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:59 pm

Excellent stories here! Keep them coming.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by NY Lady on Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:38 am

Redpossum wrote:How do I deal with it?

Not very damn well at all, to tell the sad old truth Smile

I think I am slowly going "Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs"

I have to agree with you. It gets hard for me to get up in the morning. If I didn't have to give medicine to my cat, I probably wouldn't get up. The days just go by, one after another, week after week. I get lower and lower. Get dressed? Showered? Why bother? I have nowhere to go, and I can't afford to be doing laundry or buying shampoo like I had an income....So I get on the computer and look for work - none. Back to bed and try to sleep, can't. Wonder what is going to happen and what am I going to eat today? Not raman noodles again? So tired of them, have to force myself to eat it.
I can think myself right into a major depression. I've been there before in my life, I know the signs..
But one day, thru my tears, I HAD to actually DO something. I had to apply for ANY job, for ANY pay. I have no UI coming in. Only a draining savings account and rising credit card debt. So I applied to 3 jobs...a week later I got two calls in one day! And another 3 days later. I start Monday at one - had to turn down 2! Yeah, they all are crap jobs, but I'll take it anyway. At least it will get me up and moving. I think with my first paycheck, I am going to splurge and have a really good cheeseburger.
I knew if I didn't do something, nothing was going to happen.

NY Lady
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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Redpossum on Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:07 pm

Mmmmm, a cheeseburger!

I haven't had a burger & fries since last June when I splurged and spent $3.50 of my last UI check at the In N Out burger! Honestly, I do not regret it at all. In N Out uber alles!

On a more serious note, I am green with envy at your 100% success rate. I cannot find anything, not even sweeping parking lots for min wage. The wetbacks have all the low-paying jobs here, no hueros need apply. Perhaps that's why California has the second-highest unemployment rate in the USA. I mean, if they're admitting to 12.4%, I shudder to think what the real figure is

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by NY Lady on Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:21 pm

Redpossum wrote:Mmmmm, a cheeseburger!

I haven't had a burger & fries since last June when I splurged and spent $3.50 of my last UI check at the In N Out burger! Honestly, I do not regret it at all. In N Out uber alles!

On a more serious note, I am green with envy at your 100% success rate. I cannot find anything, not even sweeping parking lots for min wage. The wetbacks have all the low-paying jobs here, no hueros need apply. Perhaps that's why California has the second-highest unemployment rate in the USA. I mean, if they're admitting to 12.4%, I shudder to think what the real figure is

What did you do before you got laid off? I was a Drafter and I see tons of Drafter jobs in Calif., every day. I wonder why?
Maybe with your low income of last year you could get financial aid? It's a 2 year degree and usually pays pretty good. I have seen really good pay for drafters there, $20-$25/hr - again, I wonder why? If I knew anything about the areas of Calif, and how to move for a job, I would try. But from a dumb NY'ers perspective - we see only the gang activity.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Redpossum on Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:48 pm

NY Lady wrote:
Redpossum wrote:Mmmmm, a cheeseburger!

I haven't had a burger & fries since last June when I splurged and spent $3.50 of my last UI check at the In N Out burger! Honestly, I do not regret it at all. In N Out uber alles!

On a more serious note, I am green with envy at your 100% success rate. I cannot find anything, not even sweeping parking lots for min wage. The wetbacks have all the low-paying jobs here, no hueros need apply. Perhaps that's why California has the second-highest unemployment rate in the USA. I mean, if they're admitting to 12.4%, I shudder to think what the real figure is

What did you do before you got laid off? I was a Drafter and I see tons of Drafter jobs in Calif., every day. I wonder why?
Maybe with your low income of last year you could get financial aid? It's a 2 year degree and usually pays pretty good. I have seen really good pay for drafters there, $20-$25/hr - again, I wonder why? If I knew anything about the areas of Calif, and how to move for a job, I would try. But from a dumb NY'ers perspective - we see only the gang activity.

Oh my, where to start?

Once, in happier days, I was a computer network administrator. I go way back to the days of the Big Iron, when "computer" meant a room full of big DEC mainframes running VAX/VMS 5.5, and we connected to them with monochrome "dumb" terminals. I rode the PC Revolution right up when it was happening, got my CNA in Novell 3.1x in the mid-90's when that was the state-of-the-art networking software, (NT 3.51 was a worthless POS), and was sitting very pretty in the late 90's, with headhunters calling me with job contracts they needed to fill. Then Bill Clinton massively expanded the H-1b program, in return for massive campaign contributions from Silicon Valley, and things started to go sour. The events of 9/11 caused a massive crash in the computer industry, and I was replaced with a Romanian on an H-1b visa. I never again managed to get hired in the Information Systems industry.

When I was laid off most recently in April 2008, I had been waiting tables for min wage plus tips the last 7 years. The last full year I worked, I w-2'ed a grand total of $15K, so that's what my unemployment was based on. Yay. It makes me sick to hear that the average unemployment is $350 a week. My UI ran out last June, I've been a 99er for nine months now, but when I was getting UI, it was only $173 a week. Of course, I'd give my left nut to have that back now, but it's sure not enough to actually *live* on.

When you say drafter, you mean CADD? My grandpa was a draftsman in the Aerospace industry years ago. His old drafting table is here to my left as I'm typing this.

I'm 51 years old now, and I have been unemployed for nearly 3 years now. My credit rating reads "shoot on sight". There is no way any technical employer will hire me without background and credit check, and no way they'll touch me once they see those. Many employers here are saying openly in their ads that the unemployed need not apply.

And it's bitterly ironic. I was once sufficiently trusted to hold a Secret level security clearance. Now I'm not even sufficiently trusted to be hired at all.

No, the only hope for us 99ers is a massive WPA-style jobs program. That's the only way most of us will ever work again. And we need to insist on that, with no compromise.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Judi58 on Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:25 pm

NY Lady wrote:
Redpossum wrote:How do I deal with it?

Not very damn well at all, to tell the sad old truth Smile

I think I am slowly going "Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs"

I have to agree with you. It gets hard for me to get up in the morning. If I didn't have to give medicine to my cat, I probably wouldn't get up. The days just go by, one after another, week after week. I get lower and lower. Get dressed? Showered? Why bother? I have nowhere to go, and I can't afford to be doing laundry or buying shampoo like I had an income....So I get on the computer and look for work - none. Back to bed and try to sleep, can't. Wonder what is going to happen and what am I going to eat today? Not raman noodles again? So tired of them, have to force myself to eat it.
I can think myself right into a major depression. I've been there before in my life, I know the signs..
But one day, thru my tears, I HAD to actually DO something. I had to apply for ANY job, for ANY pay. I have no UI coming in. Only a draining savings account and rising credit card debt. So I applied to 3 jobs...a week later I got two calls in one day! And another 3 days later. I start Monday at one - had to turn down 2! Yeah, they all are crap jobs, but I'll take it anyway. At least it will get me up and moving. I think with my first paycheck, I am going to splurge and have a really good cheeseburger.
I knew if I didn't do something, nothing was going to happen.


So agree if I didnt have school I would not be here today I need a reason to get out of bed.. I get scared when spring summer or winter break comes if I cant take classes I sink so deep I have my son come to my apt to walk my dog.. pretty sad...

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by lendmeflight2 on Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:07 pm

How do I deal? I write and perform music and I teach little kids to play soccer. Without those two things my life would have become pointless long ago.

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by NY Lady on Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:29 pm

Redpossum wrote:Oh my, where to start?

Once, in happier days, I was a computer network administrator. I go way back to the days of the Big Iron, when "computer" meant a room full of big DEC mainframes running VAX/VMS 5.5, and we connected to them with monochrome "dumb" terminals. I rode the PC Revolution right up when it was happening, got my CNA in Novell 3.1x in the mid-90's when that was the state-of-the-art networking software, (NT 3.51 was a worthless POS), and was sitting very pretty in the late 90's, with headhunters calling me with job contracts they needed to fill. Then Bill Clinton massively expanded the H-1b program, in return for massive campaign contributions from Silicon Valley, and things started to go sour. The events of 9/11 caused a massive crash in the computer industry, and I was replaced with a Romanian on an H-1b visa. I never again managed to get hired in the Information Systems industry.

When I was laid off most recently in April 2008, I had been waiting tables for min wage plus tips the last 7 years. The last full year I worked, I w-2'ed a grand total of $15K, so that's what my unemployment was based on. Yay. It makes me sick to hear that the average unemployment is $350 a week. My UI ran out last June, I've been a 99er for nine months now, but when I was getting UI, it was only $173 a week. Of course, I'd give my left nut to have that back now, but it's sure not enough to actually *live* on.

When you say drafter, you mean CADD? My grandpa was a draftsman in the Aerospace industry years ago. His old drafting table is here to my left as I'm typing this.

I'm 51 years old now, and I have been unemployed for nearly 3 years now. My credit rating reads "shoot on sight". There is no way any technical employer will hire me without background and credit check, and no way they'll touch me once they see those. Many employers here are saying openly in their ads that the unemployed need not apply.

And it's bitterly ironic. I was once sufficiently trusted to hold a Secret level security clearance. Now I'm not even sufficiently trusted to be hired at all.

No, the only hope for us 99ers is a massive WPA-style jobs program. That's the only way most of us will ever work again. And we need to insist on that, with no compromise.

Yes, I am / was a mechanical drafter using CADD. I also am an "oldtimer." I started out as a sign painter and did that for 20 years until computers came along and I was out of a job. Anyone and everyone with a computer thought they could do it. I went to college "late" in life, really ONLY to learn how to use computers. I ended up taking a drafting class - yes, on the board, using a pencil. I loved it. I continued with that and learned AutoCad and Solidworks. Got a drafting job thru the college. Too bad there's no work for me around here, now.
51 is not too late for you to go back to school. I am sure you would get full financial aid. From your experience, you have a lot to offer. And there can be a lot of contacts thru school.
Good Luck. DOn't give up.

NY Lady
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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by NY Lady on Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:43 pm

Judi58 wrote:So agree if I didnt have school I would not be here today I need a reason to get out of bed.. I get scared when spring summer or winter break comes if I cant take classes I sink so deep I have my son come to my apt to walk my dog.. pretty sad...

Just try to hang in there. I am also one of those that's hates hearing stuff like "just pull yourself up by your bootstratps" or "think positive" - I hate that one.
Just know that you are not alone, I feel your pain. Some of us .... just sink, and it grabs ahold of us and drags us down.
At one very low point in my life, when I had no direction, no hope, I found a way out. And that was thru signing up for college - in mid life. It was the beginning. And as I find myself at this low point again, all I know is that I had to DO something. I would visit the cat shelter and even if it was for only a little while, I found joy in their little faces. Last year, I MADE myself get outside and walk for a little while. I do notice that I feel a little better if I'm moving. Sometimes it's still hard to GET moving, but if I don't...I know it's downhill - I've been there before and I don't know if I have the strength to make it out again.
((((hugs)))))

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

Post by Dazed&Confused on Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:35 pm

This is one of the most emotionally stressful times in my life and I am having a very hard time dealing with it. When I wake up for a minute I think everything is ok, then it hits me and I feel paralyzed for a few hours, seems I get better as the day goes on, but sometimes not. I have had many adversities in my life, but none like this, with the exception of the death of my mother, prepared me for this.

Dazed today

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Re: How do you deal with the stress and anxiety of being long term unemployed.

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