Could it be PTSD or am I really losing my mind?

Hello everyone,

I just need to vent and gain some insight into my situation. Back in May of 2009, I was laid off from my administrative job supposedly for 2 weeks...well 2 weeks turned into 4 and then it was come back to work, laid off again and so on and so forth for the rest of 2009.
Then, in 2010, I was "guaranteed" 3 days per week, but this was only supposed to last for one year. Fast forward to 2011 and it is still the same thing. I am currently job sharing with another worker. At this present job, there doesn't seem to be enough work to do, even if I am on my own, which contributes to my feelings of inadequacy, even though it's not my fault....I look for things to do, but IMO, there should be a more solid workflow.
During the latter part of 2009, before the layoff, I began looking for a second job and hadn't heard anything, but in October of that year, I began working in retail and was having alot of fun and it really helped my confidence.
During these last 2-1/2 years, I have questioned my abilities, confidence and sanity.
I am not getting any hours at my second job and am still filing partial UC, which definitely helps, but even a year ago, I felt like things weren't right in my own mind and I think it spilled over into the second job, where I just felt almost overwhelmed and felt like I wasn't doing an acceptable job, I think, because of all the instability that is going on in my life right now.
During the last quarter of 2010 up to the present time, I have been job hunting very hard and had some very promising interviews, only to be ignored....which I am sure many of you can attest to.
In some ways, I am grateful for this experience, as I am not the same person I was three years ago and can really appreciate the many good things I still have in my life.
Besides the credit card bills and instability, I feel like I am "losing it" mentally and still questioning my confidence and abilities....almost feeling worthless some days, even though I know that I am not worthless.
My volunteer work is a life saver right now as well, as it is a win-win situation, but when does this insanity end for all of us?
I'd like to talk to someone, but don't want to incur the expense of therapy, so I am turning to all of you...some days are better than others.
Any thoughts/insight you can share will be welcomed....thanks to all of you for "listening" to my long rant & hope you all have a good day:)
DD

I am no doctor, but I can envision many unemployed people having PTSD from all the loss and stress. Not only did the unemployed lose a job they also lost a way of life.

To some people its just as bad as a death in the family especially when the person getting laid off is the bread winner. Its devastating to you and Its devastating to the whole family.

We actually mourn the loss of our old life, a life when we could afford to pay to keep a vehicle on the road, buy food, pay for shelter, and things like toilette paper and other small necessities that we "took for granted" so to speak, in our previous life.

Its definitely PTSD worthy IMO.

Hang in there. What helps me is thinking that this cant possibly go on forever. Someday, I will be able to rebuild my life just as you all will. We WILL get there again someday...we will be a lot stronger and wiser than before. If we can get through all of this loss and depression, we can get through anything.

Thank you for your words of encouragement! I just wish that "someday" would come relatively soon for all of us, but you are right, we are definitely stronger & wiser than before...as I stated before, I am not the same person I was in 2009, which is a good thing.
And the statement of losing a way a life is definitely true..one thing for sure, I think we all have the ability to adapt to changing situations, which will be a bonus for us in our new jobs:)
Good luck to you!
DD

Good luck to you too DD! I wish someday was TODAY! lol It feels like a lifetime.

I think another way it changes you is having more compassion for others who are down on their luck, after it's happened to you.

DD, I think we all suffer from Post Economic Downturn/Almost Recession Disillusionment Disorder. We are on a daily basis continuing to do what's asked of us, while nothing is really being done to help us. It always easier to buy into the talk of it being "our" fault, because those truly at fault will not accept the consequences of their own actions. It's hard for all of us not to feel it's "us". But it's not. If you think back to 2008 when it started, we were all living our lives, working, paying bills, caring for families and doing our best. Wham, it all changes "through no fault of our own" and we become the bad guys. The occupy movements are helping to change the conversation, along with the daily broadcasts of reports on just how much companies are profitting from this and not hiring. I think everyone, at some point, feels it's them. But it most certainly is not. Quite simply, continuing to be yourself, doing what you feel is right in your mind and heart, working however many hours you have and doing it right, is the way to go. The disorder kicks us in the form of self confidence, which we are all really suffering from. Some days are better than others, but it hits us all. The fact that you are trying to work two jobs, still out there looking, as we all are is testament to our courage and conviction. We have all decided that we won't be beaten and we won't give up. In my mind that's the loyalty and determination companies should be looking for. When this finally turns around, many companies who decided profits vs people will find out how difficult it is to hire, because people will remember being dragged through interviews to never hear from them again, they will remember the prejudices of age or unemployment and not want to work for those companies. Many companies will suffer losses of employees who for three years worked many extra hours when additional staff was needed, but profits were more important. It will turn around, we will all be employed again, it will take time, but it will happen. When it does, we come out stronger than most for surviving this, happier than most because we can have our lives back, and smarter than most because not only did we survive, we did it together and we know what the "dark side" looks like, so we know the signs and how to prepare for it.

Please hang in there, stay with us, we are friends here and keep posting. It's great form of therapy to let it all out, especially when you can do it with people who really know that part of your frustration.

To everyone, thank you all for the great words...they mean more than you know and are so encouraging:)
MK, I can really relate to the statement of companies caring more about profits than people and I truly believe, it will bite some of these companies in the ass, relatively speaking, when the time comes..it will be an employees market, once again.
I volunteered at a cookie walk to benefit one of our local food pantries this weekend and spoke with someone who works at a manufacturing firm which is defintely doing much better than 2009 and she encouraged me to get my resume sent...there is an HR manager there who is absolutely swamped and could use the help!
It never hurts to talk to people and network and I hope something comes of this.
I've also been emailing my resume to different firms of which I have some background experience, just to let these employers know of my interest...sometimes it beats looking at the job websites, if not for a little break and diversity in the job hunt!
Thanks again everyone.....also, Google www.downbutnotoutletters.com to read more stories of how people are coping with this situation....it helps me to remember to count my blessings.
Have a great day everyone & I will check back on everyone soon:)
DD