Getting fed up with relatives that haven't a clue

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Been busy taking care of my Mom who is 91. She is healthy but is now suffering from Buspiritis, osteoartrisitis and IT banding. She's been to her GP and and Ortho doc. She has an PT come out twice a week to help her with the pain in her left leg... she has good days and bad.

Me, I'm a 99er. Been unemployed now for 4 years. My job is now taking care of mom 24/7. Talked to my mom's sisters daughter this eve and she said to go out and get a job!! lol. Yea, I'm 58 who is going to hire me! She made it sound so easy and said what are you gonna do when your mom dies. My response... guess I'll end up homeless. Woman doesn't have a clue!

Mom is concerned about what will happen to me when she passes. House is in her name and my name is on the deed. She's leaving it to me in her will but that won't do me much good. I need to make mom have a will to get better and fight for her life. She seems to be giving up because of this damn pain in her leg and doctors don't seem to give a darn other than giving her drugs like vicodin.

Just needed to vent a bit. I'm so fed up with this crap... like so many others.

Hugs,
Rhi

Sorry about mom but yeah I know about relatives who havent' a clue. Its tough out there.

My mother is giving me a hard time she thinks I'm not doing enough, not footing it daily going from 6 am to midnight looking for a job like that would do anything.

Understand Hunter. These people don't have a clue... like yea, I'm 58 and I'm gonna get a job with benefits. LMAO... and this woman is 67 and still working. God help her when the SHTF for her.

Don't know what I'm gonna do when mom passes. My cats are the only things that are holding me together. If they pass I'm done for. I'd be out on the streets.

I hear you. I spent the last 5 years of my grandmother's life taking care of her, and got the same crap from family. They're clueless.

I pray for everyone that is having these problems. If you blow up then it is still your fault! Can't fight stupidity. Stupid people are the most dangerous people there are according to the "Laws of Stupidity."


I am 62, collecting early SS. Was forced to do this with no Unemployment left. Still need a job, this sucks!

Both my parents are 88, my mother has had health issues this past year. They are more supportive then in the past.

Many of my relatives are gone, so I don't have to answer to them and never had to. As long as mother, father, spouse and children understand then at least you have some sanity.

rhiannonj wrote:Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Been busy taking care of my Mom who is 91. She is healthy but is now suffering from Buspiritis, osteoartrisitis and IT banding. She's been to her GP and and Ortho doc. She has an PT come out twice a week to help her with the pain in her left leg... she has good days and bad.

Me, I'm a 99er. Been unemployed now for 4 years. My job is now taking care of mom 24/7. Talked to my mom's sisters daughter this eve and she said to go out and get a job!! lol. Yea, I'm 58 who is going to hire me! She made it sound so easy and said what are you gonna do when your mom dies. My response... guess I'll end up homeless. Woman doesn't have a clue!

Mom is concerned about what will happen to me when she passes. House is in her name and my name is on the deed. She's leaving it to me in her will but that won't do me much good. I need to make mom have a will to get better and fight for her life. She seems to be giving up because of this damn pain in her leg and doctors don't seem to give a darn other than giving her drugs like vicodin.

Just needed to vent a bit. I'm so fed up with this crap... like so many others.

Hugs,
Rhi

I sort of know what your going through...my wife is in Chronic Pain herself, even if she is 30..she already has osteoarthritis, a Bakers Cyst, her miniscus is wearing down, and her ligament is worn too, not to mention she has a busted tailbone. She had to leave her last job at JC Penneys b/c she couldnt handle standing for 8 hours...she would come home barely able to make it up the stairs...her Ortho thinks she can just get a desk job...clueless. We're currently living above her parents, and we have no income other than food stamps, and thank god we qualified for Medicaid a while back. As for you, I hope some luck comes your way...

I have not been a caregiver, but I have been struggling with family and their comments. Also, my dad did pass away and his funeral was just this last Weds.

I blew up at my sister, and I think I was a bit wrong. It is just that I hear over and over how hard she works (we worked for the same place, same dept) and how I was treated and the fact that she still works there hurts but she downright brags about how she can just tell the manager she is taking time off and such. I lost vacation there. I really don't want to go into it.

This last week, as I was going through the job postings, my heart just breaks. So often the jobs are not even real. If I email, they bounce back, and sometimes they are the same jobs from a month ago or so.

It is a hard thing to lose my dad. But, the fear that grabs me at times from being unemployed and the uncertainty, it makes it hard to function.

I am surviving ok yet and try to tell myself things will be ok. But, the only jobs seem to be minimum wage, and my heart breaks when I apply and thing I have even a chance at a low paying job that won't even cover gas for the car etc, and can't even land these jobs.

I feel awful posting such a negative post. I admit I am so burned out from the applications and the letdowns, or no responses at all.

I keep praying for us all. We need a miracle, and I believe miracles do happen so I am letting the universe know right now, I am ready!

Take Care

John

My relatives are bragging about their jobs to. And how callus for your sister to rub in your face, I'd blow up too.

Sux it really sux. I'm burnt too.

wausauguy wrote:I have not been a caregiver, but I have been struggling with family and their comments. Also, my dad did pass away and his funeral was just this last Weds.

I blew up at my sister, and I think I was a bit wrong. It is just that I hear over and over how hard she works (we worked for the same place, same dept) and how I was treated and the fact that she still works there hurts but she downright brags about how she can just tell the manager she is taking time off and such. I lost vacation there. I really don't want to go into it.

This last week, as I was going through the job postings, my heart just breaks. So often the jobs are not even real. If I email, they bounce back, and sometimes they are the same jobs from a month ago or so.

It is a hard thing to lose my dad. But, the fear that grabs me at times from being unemployed and the uncertainty, it makes it hard to function.

I am surviving ok yet and try to tell myself things will be ok. But, the only jobs seem to be minimum wage, and my heart breaks when I apply and thing I have even a chance at a low paying job that won't even cover gas for the car etc, and can't even land these jobs.

I feel awful posting such a negative post. I admit I am so burned out from the applications and the letdowns, or no responses at all.

I keep praying for us all. We need a miracle, and I believe miracles do happen so I am letting the universe know right now, I am ready!

Take Care

John

I just recently landed a temp to perm position and I'm very grateful for it. I start tomorrow. So there is hope for us all afterall. I feel for those of you who have insensitive family members. I'm fortunate that a couple of my family members are in the same boat as me and they really understand what I've been going thru (although they expected me to be working sooner because I have more education). Some of my colleagues however are not as understanding and assumed that I did not want to work or was being too picky. When you have a job it's easy to wonder and pass judgment on those not working. And when you don't have a job it's difficult to see family and friends making choices that you no longer have because of being unemployed. Choices like purchasing a home, upgrading your vehicle, planning vacations, etc... Anyway, it wasn't until I started meeting with staffing agencies and interviewing with their clients that I've been able to get any work. I really want perm but temp to perm work is the next best thing (my last temp job was only 10 weeks) and pays the bills right now. Salary is not where I want to be but it's better than unemployment. God bless you all.

Sorry I haven't posted. Mom's been keeping me busy. God bless all of us that are going through this. It's gotten to the point where I can't sleep at night and when I open my eyes I don't know what to expect with mom. I find myself wondering about things and as soon as those thoughts pop into my head I try my best to turn them off.

To all that have responded to this thread... god bless and you all are in my prayers.. as well as everyone else who is living this nightmare.

((((( hugs )))))

wausauguy John,

Saying prayers for you. We are all burnt I agree. You aren't negative, just venting. We are here for you. And, I wholeheartedly agree, the Universe does need to grant us a miracle. I think the Universe is the only thing we haven't sent an email, call, fax, letter or tweet to. You may be on to something.

Please stay with the forum and let us know how you are doing.

John, I hear you, bro. My brother doesn't even return my emails anymore.

And I just got the "you need to find something, even if it's just as a greeter at Walmart" routine from my dad. I agreed with him, of course. I can't afford to argue.

Everyone who is safely retired seems to be utterly convinced that we could all get a job if we just tried hard enough. The clear implication is that we're all a bunch of lazy slackers.

I could just cry sometimes.

This is actually a funny story that happened to me recently.

I had a bowl of lobster bisque soup which I bought at the supermarket and warmed up at home. It was normally $4 but it had a $2 coupon attached. I told someone this and their reply was "Wow, you are on unemployment benefits and you eat lobster?". I just said "yes".

If this is what people take out of our situation then there is no wonder we can't get people on our side.

Thank god I still have two good girl friends that understand my situation. One I've known for over 30 years.. she's in sales so her job is based on commission. The other is pretty much retired and I use to live next door to her before buying this house with my mom. Spoke with her tonight and it was bitter sweet. There's a part of me that wishes I still lived up there. Very quiet and tight knit community on the water.. unlike down here where no one knows your neighbor. Oh well, maybe some day.

Hope you enjoyed that lobster soup Lendme!!! yummm You deserve it!

I used to be a member of a group that went to jazz clubs. The last time I rec'd an email invite I said I'd like to go but really couldn't afford it. They sent an email saying I was banned from the group because I've been turning down all invitations. I wrote back to say I was long term unemployed and didn't have the money to participate. If I had to choose between jazz and keeping a roof over my head then jazz would lose. She wrote and said its only $25 to participate. I wrote back and said I don't have a job or any money and she said we all have our problems. She was the rudest more unpleasant person I've encountered in a while.

Then I met a guy who wanted to have lunch in CT. I live in NYC and said I couldn't spare the train fare. I said I was depressed, broke, had no interviews scheduled and everything was going to have to wait until things improved. He wrote back saying, "stop being so dramatic, it's not like you're being sent to Iraq." Needless to say after some choice words, he was deleted from my address book.

I'm about done. Mom has about given up. My kitties are all I have left. Don't know what to do. Haven't eaten all day... no appetite. So tough when you have no incentive. Just wish someone cared about me.

I know the feeling, rhiannon.

You just have to hang in there, that's all you can do. You'll get your second wind in a while.