I want to be positive...

How do I become more positive in things?

I look at myself and my posts here and I just want to be more positive.

Ok this is a bit vague please explain. Something is bugging you.

You look at the little things. It's always the little things.

lendmeflight2 Thanks for the reminder. It is the little things and I even see that those "little things" mean alot to me.

gettheminnovember I know I am being vague, but I really don't want to go over all that is bothering me. If only it were just one challenge. But, I really have to make a direction to be positive. If I get wrapped up in being unemployed and all the other drama it will only keep spiraling.

Thankd for listening....

wausauguy wrote:How do I become more positive in things?

I look at myself and my posts here and I just want to be more positive.

Always remember, even though this government, and even the people around you may make you feel that you're the only one in this situation, you're not. Millions of people just like you, through no fault of their own are in the same situation. It has NOTHING to do with what you did or didn't do.

Just be ready for the day, and it WILL happen, when massive hiring begins. Employers will love to have someone with your knowledge and years of solid work experience! Your big problem then would be to decide which one to work for.

Keep the faith wausauguy!

Find something that makes you happy, that you can afford to do, and just do it.

I have been suicidal long before any of this happened to me and the way I survived was to find something that made me happy and I did it. Regardless of what other people thought, no matter who thought I was crazy, I did it.

Find your thing.

Thanks jmainframe, I second guess myself because it really has been so long since I have a real full-time job with benefits. There are other issues, one big one being the illness and death of my dad, very hard to fully accept and be ok with it at this point. There are some hurts that go along with my dad and I feel it is not the right place to go into that here. I do appreciate your comments and they are very supportive.

lendmeflight2 Thanks for sharing. I have to work at the doing things I like. The harsh reality, that I hate to face, but know that I have to is that depression has been sucking me dry. I think it was there most of my life, but I aloways could cope pretty well and things seemed to get a bit better in not so long as far as circumstances in my life. It seems now the job loss is so huge because i have been so unsuccessful in replacing the job, it is like being unemployed is 99% of my life.
I have not seen a therapist is over a year due to my fear of running up expenses. I think it would be helpful, but helpful is not enough, I mean I don't need the added financial burden and mark on my record for having seen a therapist when I continue to try to get insurance.
Bottom line I know is I have to nudge myself and not make excuses and do what I want. I love the part about regardless of what others thought. I have done that to a certain degree, but I have to admit I have been dragged down more in th last year. It seems every hope, every opportunity I expected to happen went away. Lots of little disappointments and a few huge ones. As I write this my inner voice is saying something like stop.. wait a minute it really is not as bad as I am making it sound. So, I guess all is not lost. I will work on doing things to enjoy myself.
It has truly been beautiful outside. So nice to have a windor or two open overnight in mid Sept.
Thanks everyone for listening and all the kind support.

wasau, you certainly are not alone. I second guess myself morning, noon and night. You can't help but not to. However, then I have a roundtable with myself and bring up my good points, my own little pep talk. I make sure every day, silly as this sounds, I call up on demand on cable, do a walking tape, or if it's not too ungodly hot, walk for at least 45 minutes, I fast walk, but set your pace. I look at gardens, trees, a nicely cared for yard, kids riding bikes, whatever. When I am finished, I make sure I do the shower, hair and makeup thing (not that you will) but I won't give in to the pjs and the sofa. Then I get on the forum, send emails and tweets, do my job searches and make a game out of it. I get the most ridiculous postings based on my profile. So I read them all. Then in the afternoon, I work my phone list and make the congressional calls as I like to refer to them (being as I am so important, lol. I just make sure to fill the day. I go to the produce stands, get my dollar bags, get dinner prepped, laundry and ironing, whatever needs to be done. Take satisfaction in really cleaning and organizing the kitchen or your closet. Make a nice dinner, mashed potatoes (the real kind), a nice veggie or salad and baked chicken. Go talk to your neighbor or the kids out back or out front. Sometimes, I just go walk through Walmart or Target and wish!!! I know it all sounds silly, but it helps. I spend considerable time with my Dad, so that's usually two full days and nights a week. I also make trades with neighbors, I clean their house and instead of payment, they'll do something for me. I have a few unemployed neighbors, one is also a 99er, so we make trades like that.

If nothing else, visit one of your local hospitals and ask to sign up and volunteer even for 1/2 day, they love it and the patients will make you feel like a million bucks. If you have real tough inner strength, hospices need volunteers as well, it's really tough, I go one month on and one month off and they are fine with it, I find it really wonderful and hard at the same time.

Most of all, if you have something you really enjoy, say reading, get a library card and get a book and set aside time each day to read a chapter or two, the book lasts longer and you have something to look forward to.

No matter what Rich and I are doing or what his day was like, we set aside 8PM, have a cup of tea and coffee and just talk. No tv, just us. It's nice and I do look forward to it. Might only be 15 minutes, but I really like it and so far, it's not like a job or an obligation.

Our disappointment continues, but who knows, we may get help. Just know, we are all here and willing to listen. You know yourself best and you also know, you are not the problem, it's the rest of the world. Nothing I have said will change anything, but if it points you in a direction that helps, I am glad. I am also glad you are here and part of our family.

MaryKay,
You are an inspiration to me. I'm going to start doing some of the things you do to keep me motivated. It's so easy to feel sorry for yourself and just do nothing.

MaryKay,

You are such an inspiration. You have a way with putting things to words as well. I felt you were encouraging and helpful without pushing your way on me.

:aine25 You are correct, and the reason I put "wanting to be positive" as a post was because I don't want to just feel feel sorry for myself, woe is me, etc.

Thanks for listening and caring.

John

I have this sick feeling today, more intense than it has been. I feel like something is brewing. I will hope for the best.

I am tense as I need a job so bad, and there really are no postings. I am so discouraged. I actually avoid coming to this site, no offense but I just feel like talking about it is gonna help.

Not having a job is bad enough. But, to feel to unvalued, so worthless, and to truly feel so drained that is the real problem. I am trying so hard.

Yesterday, I did some volunteer office work for church and tonight had a board meeting for a group and then worked with another person doing a little education on geology with kids in Boy Scouts. I should be focusing on these positive things, but they really don't erase how I feel. Tonight on the news they were saying that unemployment has improved in many counties here... makes me feel worse... I admit it, I am jealous of all the people who land jobs.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I am gonna be ok... I am gonna be fine...

You will be fine brother.

If you remember, I used to live in your town and I know how isolated I felt. I was used to the east coast where everything is closer together. There is nothing much where you live. It's not like you can drive to another town and find work. When I was there I had to drive an hour to Appleton to go to a mall. A real mall, not the one in the city center there. I remember getting in my car and driving north for what seemed like hours and never saw people just deer and trees. There just isn't a lot of places to look for work so don't be so hard on yourself.

If you need to talk send me a PM and we can meet work out the details.

wausauguy Mary Kay is right but I know exactly how you feel. I wont be trite and say you're not alone because I know that doesn't make you feel better or pay your bills, but even if there are times when you feel hopeless you cant wallow in it. You have to pick yourself up and keep it moving no matter how difficult that is. I've had a few self indulgent days lately where I stayed in bed and didn't do one thing to try and fix this situation. After one whole day in bed where i gave in and let myself cry, I got up the next day, not necessarily more hopeful, but I had enough steam to face the situation and try again. It's very hard.

I hadn't been beyond 5 blocks from my home in weeks. Yesterday I got on the subway and rode into the city to run some errands. I had a new outlook when I got home because i was out among people. I'm spending way too much time home alone & depressed. Yes I was jealous that people seemed to have jobs & things to do but the fresh air felt good. I turned my phone off because I didn't want to spend those hours checking for messages every 15 minutes. I even had a better night's sleep than I've had in weeks. One little change in my routine helped more than I could have imagined.

lendmeflight and nfpexec Thank you so much for the replies. I am talking in the right place and really appreciate that was listened to. Things have not changed but I am fine.

Thank You

I am feeling something no words can describe. I have been focusing on positive. Well today, I am left not sure what to say, and full of hurt.
There was a job that I really had myself seeing as something I would love and do well even with just so so pay. I was a bit more forceful in that I requested two people to write me letters of recommendation from the church staff where I do a wide range of volunteer work and office work. I spent time on a cover letter. And, while I should feel "at least they let me know" but it hurts that they rejected me even before the deadline for the applications and only about 12 hours after I submitted. I know I need to not let it hit me personally but it hurts so deep.
I don't know what to think, why think is what I know is the answer. It's one thing when I send an application and a pretty generic cover letter and maybe followup and nothing. But, when I put the extra energy and really feel I would have been so great for the job, it leaves me feeling like why bother. I know... I know... as I say this I know better just keep applying. But, it is getting to be too much.
Everyone here is focused on politics... and well I don't feel either party gives a damn. As a single person, all the supposedly great social programs are not available to me, while I paid in for them. I feel as though I am rejected so deeply by employers.. my society.
With the fear and lack of resources and seeing how my home is literally showing disrepair I feel like I have lost. I know it could be worse... and I do truly have gratitude for the roof I have (even if is beyond its years and has it leaks), the people I have in my life.
I am sorry for not being nice and positive. I am not looking for pity.. .I am looking for a living wage job with simple benefits like affordable health insurance.
The education.. the fancy schools I have paid for do not help me.
J

Wausauguy,

I'm really sorry to hear this. You know, it's appropriate to ask them why you were rejected, just for personal feedback. If they have any sense of professional courtesy, they will respond. Also, this tells them that you REALLY want this job. If another position opens with that orginization, they may think of you first.

Hang in there. It looks like things are FINALLY starting to open up. The government and the private sector are now looking to "INSOURCE" jobs, trying to get many of our lost jobs back here to America. With Occupy Wall Street movements and the like, the government senses the anger and civil unrest of the general population.

If hiring does start this quarter, there will be jobs for everyone who wants a job! You're just one pitch away from getting that hit!

Im so sorry to hear that wausauguy jmainframe is right, dont give up hope yet. My husband feels the same way lately, its like why bother anymore. I will tell you the same thing I tell him...It wont be like this forever! Its not your fault and just keep trying. It feels like a lifetime, but it really cant stay like this much longer. jmainframe hit on a good point. We finally have people taking to the streets.

Do me a favor, think of all the accomplishments you have made in your life, even the small things, financially and just regular everyday milestones we all hit throughout our lives. Its normal to get depressed during times like this especially after facing rejection. It never gets any easier but just try to keep in mind that you aren't doing anything wrong and although it feels like a lifetime, it is not permanent.

We are always here for you wausauguy! Im glad you pulled this thread up again. Sometimes we get off track with all the political stuff but this forum is first and foremost a support forum. Although it makes us sad to hear of so many hurting, we are glad to see people reaching out here. Thats what its all about! Helping each other through this time. For most of us its the worst time of our lives and it helps to know we are not alone.

To Wausau & everyone....it can be hard to be positive when you feel like everything is against us & there is so much beyond our control, but I am enjoying the posts.
It's hard to be confident, but when I think of my accomplishments, even small ones, it makes me feel a little more valuable as a human being and a great future employee somewhere!
Hang in there everyone....I have to keep telling myself that I think no one wants me, there has to be someone out there willing to give me a chance....I'm sure it's all about timing, but I know we are tired of waiting as well.
Good luck and have a great week everyone...I'll try to check back in later this week:)
DD

Thank you all for the encouragement.

This last Saturday was a day I felt so low, I was close to crawling in a corner and just going catatonic. It is impossible to put to words. Heartbroken... disappointment... not giving up... but wondering if that is crazy. I have reached my limit of coping. But, I will survive.


I was better Sunday but only because I was extremely busy. But the busy is pretty much wearing out, reality has to be faced. I really feel like I am being pushed into a corner, so I guess it won't be me crawling into the corner to escape and just be, but rather being pushed to be so worthless that I just fade away.

Like I keep saying, I want to be positive.

J

I totally share your sentiments in regards to being busy...it is very therapeutic and keeps some of those awful feelings at bay for awhile.
I thought I had almost hit my breaking point on Tuesday when I make a 40 mile drive to a facility that I will be volunteering for to do tax preparation and finding out that the software they were trying to use had some problems, so they didn't need me.
I proceeded to drive home, but was screaming and crying so much that I feared having an accident....thank God He had other plans for me.
Later that day, I received a call for an interview scheduled for today for a rental agent position that I applied for quite some time ago, so we'll see how that goes, but it is for full time work, which sure beats the scenario I am in right now!
Hang in there and I'll let everyone know how the interview went.

DD I hope the interview turns to a job.

I am not sure if I should even say much here as I must say, I am not feeling too upbeat. And, I don't want to be know as downtrodden.

But, I feel i have to at least say something. I did start a very part time job (not sure I consider it a job) calling and trying to get appointments for an insurance agent. The agent is great, but the calling, well I know I am not good at it, I guess I get payback for all the calls people get and now I am making calls. Minimum wage, maybe 5 - 15 hours a week hardly pays to get there and I feel so drained leaving voicemails and talking to people who don't want to be bothered.

I know I have to not let it get to me, but I really have reached my limit on being hopeful. I applied for a number of jobs this week, and a few of them would be great for me. I just have to not get hopeful as I was last week, and I don't want to fall like I did last Saturday. It was one of the lowest days of my life. I am having a hard time with alot of things right now, financially, home is falling apart, I drag myself out of bed, but I have to push myself, I could just lay in bed all day. Have not done it, maybe a whole day of just being in bed, no tv, no music, no nothing... could do me good? I just don't know.

It is below zero outside today. And the water bill is due so I really should get to city hall and take care of that before I end up with a late fee.

God never gives us more than we can handle... I have to say I have my doubts on that.

My friends car has been respossessed. One of the businesses I worked temporarily for is in bankruptcy and I am basically on-call for issues with that. Another friend who runs a delivery service for one of the home improvement stores is broke, cannot even afford the fuel for his delivery truck and is being sued.... the list goes on and on...

Maybe an alien will come and force someone to hire me... maybe an alien will capture me... sorry I am not even able to find decent humor.

Anyway... so now I vented a bit.. complained a bit... its 1:15pm and time for me to get off my butt and do something good.

J