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Sick of brick walls.

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Sick of brick walls.

Post by glasswater on Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:02 pm

To start, I'd like to tell you a bit about myself. It should put some things in perspective.

I'm 22 years old, and only worked one job. I have just that one job on my resume. I quit that job for a reason that I thought was acceptable, though my father believes I should've kept working there. He did not know that the stress of the (essentially pre-collections) call center was that bad. What I did to survive a day of work could be an emotional trigger for others. I'm not going to post it.

Since then, I've been gunshy of call centers, so I try to avoid them.

After that I got a job at a car wash, where everyone was miserable. From what I gathered, everyone was miserable because of my direct supervisor, who had absolutely zero idea how to interact with his employees and make them feel comfortable at work. At this time, my parents filed for divorce. Rather than taking the time to understand how that would affect my work, he fired me. He also told me he'd fight me tooth and nail if I filed for unemployment.

I let that deter me from seeking unemployment.

So here I am, sitting at the kitchen in my father's house, seven months later, wondering how I'm supposed to proceed. I apply to anything from overnight baker to stock handler to secretary positions. I even went to apply for fast food, and I got turned down from those jobs too.

I'm not wondering what's wrong with me. I know what's wrong with me. I know I've got depression running in my family, and I know I've got social anxiety disorder. The whole experience of applying for a job is entirely shocking and sometimes debilitating for me. It's like punishing myself, in a way, because I'm partaking in something that is traumatizing sometimes. That's just how it is, but I keep applying regardless.

I did, however, get one interview for a position at UPS. He wasn't very nice to me. He told me directly that minimum wage was too much to hire me at, and at that price he can find someone more experienced. He also criticized my personal tastes. I don't even know why I didn't just walk out on him when he essentially inferred that I was stupid. Maybe it's because I thought he was right.

Is this how the working world is naturally? Is this how everything will be for the rest of my life? Am I supposed to work dead-end jobs for years and be mistreated by employers who I have to hide my mental illnesses from?

glasswater
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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by USA Citizen on Mon Feb 04, 2013 9:49 pm

Hi glasswater,
If you have a verifiable mental illness, then you might be able to get help for that and employment training as well. It might pay to get counseling at a center nearby and ask if they can help with placement.
You didn't mention if you were a high school graduate. That helps.
Also consider going to a junior college for a couple of years. You can get grants and loans. Get a counselor so that you only take the most necessary classes so that you graduate without a lot of debt. If you are as challenged as you suggest then you might like a job working in parks or something like that. There are programs for that.
You are young enough that you can also get into an apprenticeship program for almost anything if you can study, learn and work hard.

USA Citizen
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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by Back40 on Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:03 am

glasswater wrote:...I'm 22 years old...

No, I think you're quite normal - and the quotation above is what your "problem" is - that is, you really don't have a problem, what you have is life smacking you in the face.

I saw your post, and created an account to answer you. I did this, because although I'm a lot older than you (52) - your story sounds much like mine did at that age. My parents got divorced when I was 18 - and it hit me much harder than I thought (at the time). It was really difficult for me to find my way - but I managed to - and so will you - it really takes time. And in this economy, it's even more difficult.

Now, while age 22 is your "problem" - in reality, and unknown to you at this point in your life is that age 22 is also your asset. Trust me, as a 52 year old, I am getting passed over and passed over and passed - and I have a track record of managing business divisions for more than a decade and three masters degrees! At age 52, I have what - perhaps 20 years left in me?

You need to do three things right now:

1.) Get a handle on this depression you say you may have - and come to grips with how you feel about your family. You need to do this to help stabilize your feelings and your mind so you can think clearly. If you are subject to depression, I would recommend a anti-depressant like Lexapro or Celexa - which are nice, small, seem to have very few side effects except they put more "oil on your feathers" so you stop worrying about everything - and in a very few cases they may knock down your libido some (in someone your age I doubt that would be an issue - in someone my age, it doesn't matter anymore! Razz ).

2.) Stop shot-gunning applications all over - and applying for jobs which pay nothing and have no future. YOU need to SIT DOWN and DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE - regardless of your current financial problems, regardless of your parents, regardless of your depression, regardless of what other issues you have. Time is ONLY an asset while you have it - once you get a little older, time will become (as it has for me and many others on this board) your enemy. So - you need to sit down and really think about what you really like, what you're good at, and where you would eventually like to take it. Then, you need to take that information and take it out into the world, and talk to people who do that for a living now - to see if what you think they do is actually what they do (you may find that some occupations - like being a lawyer - are horrible - I did).

3.) Once you done all that - then you need to look at your current situation, and make some plans which will both get you past this point in your life (as in financially, emotionally, etc) - but NEVER forgetting your long term goal.

You see, the REAL danger for someone your age is that you DO manage to find a decent job - one that pays pretty well, and has a -slight- future. "Huh? What's wrong with that??" you ask? Simple: At your age, you don't see the trap that making a moderate income will bring in the ABSENCE of a long term plan. Simply put - you can get trapped. How? Imagine you manage to get into a job in 3-5 years that pays $50k a year. Pretty good, eh?

Sure - great. The only problem is, your lifestyle will expand, and you'll start "living" your life - and you become dependent upon that $50k - and never develop skills beyond that job - and eventually get fired, laid off, etc - except then, instead of being a scrappy 22 year old - you're 39! Believe me (I've LIVED THIS) - life moves VERY, VERY fast - and you'll be 39 tomorrow.

Listen (analogy coming) - no matter how big the storm your in now - you MUST a.) secure your current existence, b.) plot a long-term course and c.) execute the long-term course over the long term.

You want some good news? Think of what other generation lived the same kind of life you are now? Easy - the Depression/WWII generation - the "Greatest Generation". They were tempered by the Depression and the War and lived the rest of their lives frugally, but had a sense of what was really important.

Don't lose site of what is really important: Your long-term goals. You'll be working soon enough, believe me.

Good Luck (to us both!) - Very Happy

Back40
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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by Springflowers on Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:22 am

ure - great. The only problem is, your lifestyle will expand, and you'll start "living" your life - and you become dependent upon that $50k - and never develop skills beyond that job - and eventually get fired, laid off, etc - except then, instead of being a scrappy 22 year old - you're 39! Believe me (I've LIVED THIS) - life moves VERY, VERY fast - and you'll be 39 tomorrow.

50,000 someone could have a very good life...

But advice I'd give is don't expect job to be there forever. Develop Plan Bs and grow a life that is much more then about work in your community.

As for long term goals, I think the "do what you love thing" is bad advice nowadays. I am not sure people can even think LONG TERM anymore because the jobs certainly aren't.

If I was young again, and 22, I would consider alternative lifestyles, the rural life, and life overseas. There is more then being just a working drone and setting endless goals and being a skill-ridden cog in the machine.

One thing, all this GOAL-SETTING can be a dead end. I want more young people to question the whole set goals and following the carrot on the stick nonsense, they have passed out to the last two generations. Invest in family and friends and relationships too. Jobs don't hug you at night and today aren't dependable.

Easy - the Depression/WWII generation - the "Greatest Generation". They were tempered by the Depression and the War and lived the rest of their lives frugally, but had a sense of what was really important.

This was the last generation where family and community and God {sorry to get religious here, but its how I believe} still counted. They lived frugally but they lived their lives beyond just being mobile cogs in the wheel for corporations.

Can your Dad help you get a job? At least til you can figure things out more.

Springflowers
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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by TR11005 on Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:30 pm

You have to have long term goals and short term goals. With your depression just getting through the day is enough. Do what will make you happy. Don't listen to negative people or be around them. Life is too short, enjoy the moment.

Don't ever give up. Remember every job is temporary. Even though your parents are divorced, they didn't divorce you. Keep a positive attitude no matter what. Don't let others dictate, if they say anything wrong about you.

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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by Kathy642 on Mon Apr 15, 2013 1:45 pm

Hi, my name is Kathy I work from home and love it. Working for this company is the best decision I ever made! This is legit! You can make a great income aM



MODERATED!!! SCAM!

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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by USA Citizen on Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:19 pm

Kathy has a scam going on to take advantage of unemployed and low-income people. Just sign up and pretty soon you can pay $160 to upgrade.

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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by Kathy642 on Tue Apr 16, 2013 5:30 pm

I would like to let you know that you do not pay $160 for anything. That is how much you can make per person you help to do this when you are at a certain level. This is absolutely legit and not a scam! Please do your research before posting something like that. The company is called THIS IS A SCAM! and if this was a scam, I don't think so many people would be doing it and making very good incomes with it. You really should check it out. Please do not say something like that before looking into it further and knowing what you are talking about. Thank you.

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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by jmainframe on Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:41 am

Tell you what kathy666, either you or your $o-called company pay us, $ay $3,500/month to $tart us out. Once this $cam, err, job $tarts to pay off and we're making at least that much on our own, you can $top paying us directly, and just give us the income we're now generating on our own! Make $ure you put that in writing $o that we can have it reviewed by a lawyer. That $houldn't be a problem for an opportunity that you "can make a great income" from home, $hould it?

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Re: Sick of brick walls.

Post by DesperateInRI on Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:38 am

jmainframe wrote:Tell you what kathy666, either you or your $o-called company pay us, $ay $3,500/month to $tart us out. Once this $cam, err, job $tarts to pay off and we're making at least that much on our own, you can $top paying us directly, and just give us the income we're now generating on our own! Make $ure you put that in writing $o that we can have it reviewed by a lawyer. That $houldn't be a problem for an opportunity that you "can make a great income" from home, $hould it?

_________________


“Everyone's moving on without me, into a world I don't understand.”

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Re: Sick of brick walls.

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