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About to break down

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About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:38 am

I am at my wits end. After my position ended a couple weeks ago, I was prepared to hit the pavement again and make some major life decisions... (See my original thread for background: http://www.unemployed-friends2.org/t4840p15-finally-found-this-community#60724)

But my year has started off terribly, and on top of that, I just got notice that ANOTHER of my former employers is contesting my unemployment from TWO YEARS AGO. I had submitted a statement to the DOL about my separation from them (I'd quit and they wondered why I didn't collect) and now my former employer wants to have a hearing about the whole thing, so I have to appear in two weeks and talk to them, possibly with my former boss there, who was the reason I'd quit in the first place.

This job completely killed me. Now I will be the first to admit that I made mistakes at this job... But the Director of this facility is the only one who has ever made these kinds of comments about my professional skills, especially knowing that this was my first time teaching in that kind of environment. I didn't get bad reviews from my head teacher or the assistant director, among other suspicious things about that place, but I'd rather not get into it.

I have had two panic attacks since finding out that I have to go through with this, mainly because all the documents that I have for this job disappeared when my harddrive crashed over a year ago. I don't know what kinds of questions will be asked, nor do I know if I will be able to defend my statements. I do not want some of this information to go on my employment record because it could affect future jobs if I stick with this career.

This is the 4th time in 3 years that I have had to fight my former employers' appeals over my compensation. I live in poverty, and none of them have paid me remotely long enough for this to be worth their while. Why have I had to move to so many different jobs over the last few years, and why are they all coming back to haunt me? I have only ever been fired from one position in my life, why me?

Why are all of my friends finally getting good jobs, getting promotions, and I am still stuck earning minimum wage at best? Why can I not get health insurance to see a therapist about my anxiety related to this and unemployment? I have developed a moderate form of depression over the last two years and it is quickly sinking to severe. I don't know how much longer I can function under these conditions.

JadeBlue
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Re: About to break down

Post by jmainframe on Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:17 am

They're contesting something from 2 years ago? Personally, I don't think they have a leg to stand on, and the DOL would probably find it suspicious that they waited 2 years to take any action. Whatever happened back then was settled at that time. If they had any issues, they should have raised them 2 years ago. I would say that at the hearing also.

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Re: About to break down

Post by DesperateInRI on Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:19 am

I agree with jmain, that company doesn't have a leg to stand on. Don't let their actions give you panic attacks, it's not worth it. You will be fine with your unemployment.

As far as the other issue, call 211, the United Way's hotline for information on services that may be available to you. They may be able to give you names of clinics, etc. that provide service on a sliding scale basis or for free. I live in RI and there is really nothing available for the unemployed with no dependents except SNAP. There are, however, clinics and hospitals that provide "charity care". I'm sure CT has programs like these. Even if you have to wait a while for mental health services, panic attacks are real "medical" conditions and can be treated by an M.D. Good luck!

_________________


“Everyone's moving on without me, into a world I don't understand.”

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Re: About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:45 am

I completely agree- I have no idea what they are thinking contesting this. It's complicated, but basically the state JUST noticed that I worked there at one time and they need to collect from as many employers as possible, so they investigated and my former employer gave them a statement saying they FIRED me even though I gave them a resignation letter. Then they stupidly appealed having to pay for my benefits even though they claim they fired me. It's really idiotic on so many levels. And now their statement conflicts with mine, so I don't really care at this point what happens, I am just afraid of getting in trouble because I no longer have the documents proving I left voluntarily.

Thanks for the mental health advice, I might try it. I am kinda stuck in limbo here... Long story short, I was getting benefits through my husband who is self-employed, but they kept screwing up the billing so he fought them. We ended up reporting them to the state because they claim we were not paying, but we have the invoices from them proving we did. So during all of this we have been without benefits and are shopping for a new provider. But I don't even know what was covered under our old plan regarding therapy and I don't know if I can afford the new one going forward.

God I hate insurance. I am literally surrounded by it here in CT and still have had the worst experiences.

JadeBlue
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Re: About to break down

Post by Lynn132 on Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:02 pm

Jadeblue..I may be hard...I mean real hard right now but please dont let this consume and eat you alive. I know I have my days and I cant even express it to family and friends because they dont understand. Praying for you.

Lynn132
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Re: About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Wed Jan 16, 2013 2:18 am

Another huge blow... Tomorrow is my hearing date and I just found out that my voicemail has been broken for the last 5 weeks or so... I got a callback over a month ago for a permanent position that I really wanted and now I've missed my chance at it because I never got the message!!

With any luck, the snow will prevent my former employer from showing up tomorrow. I also plan to call the place back... just on the off chance they didn't find anyone, but I am not holding my breath.

JadeBlue
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Re: About to break down

Post by Guest on Wed Jan 16, 2013 3:28 am

Jade, there are two essentials for job searching these days. The first having access to the Internet and email - hopefully throughout the day.

The second is a cell phone with voicemail so when you're reached you are timely and proactive with recruiters that call.

If a cell phone is tough on your budget right now there are government programs that provide you a cell for nothing, with easy qualifications to receive one.

Hang in there. We're with you!

Guest
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Re: About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Wed Jan 16, 2013 3:42 pm

So that was about as awful as I expected. I realized that they had initially ruled in my favor because a document they submitted themselves concluded that I quit "with sufficient cause." Which I did not even address in my statement, so something in the documents had to contain an important piece of information, but it was true and would allow me to collect without losing my dignity.

But my employer did show up with my full personnel file, so I got copies of what I needed. Sadly, she also laid into me several times throughout the hearing. The judge stopped her a couple times because she wasn't following proceedings rules or she was giving irrelevant information. I don't consider myself sensitive to feedback, but the stuff she says really digs at me. It's pretty personal. I got so angry I cried during my closing statement and she LAUGHED. I'm still crying because, not only am I unsure if I will win (it came down to my statements vs. hers), but nothing was resolved between us during this incident. She probably left with an even worse opinion of me. And probably vice versa.

I don't know what to think of all of this... I'm glad I am not the person who has to decide this case. All I know is that she did contradict two of her own statements, but I doubt they were crucial to making a decision.

I just don't want her to win now. It would almost be like re-affirming all those things she said about me or my employment. This is not what I need. I was just starting to build up what was left of my self-esteem.


JazzyJeffrey wrote:Jade, there are two essentials for job searching these days. The first having access to the Internet and email - hopefully throughout the day.

The second is a cell phone with voicemail so when you're reached you are timely and proactive with recruiters that call.

If a cell phone is tough on your budget right now there are government programs that provide you a cell for nothing, with easy qualifications to receive one.

Hang in there. We're with you!

Thank you. Unfortunately this is not my problem. I had to call my provider to complain about the issue.

And the place is closed today due to weather, so this will not be resolved anytime soon.

JadeBlue
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Age : 30
Location : Hartford

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Re: About to break down

Post by Guest on Thu Jan 17, 2013 12:56 am

Jade, you went 5 weeks without knowing you weren't receiving messages? I'd suggest switching up.

Guest
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Re: About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Thu Jan 17, 2013 2:38 am

So of course I check the mail later on in the day and find ANOTHER appeals hearing notice from my most recent employer, who claims I still work for them...??! FML!

Karma must have a bounty on me.


JazzyJeffrey wrote:Jade, you went 5 weeks without knowing you weren't receiving messages? I'd suggest switching up.

That won't affect the fact that I don't get a lot of phone calls.

JadeBlue
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Location : Hartford

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Re: About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:03 am

Update on this trainwreck:

I got my determination today... It took them 6 pages to explain that I won my case. In fact, my employer kinda made it for me by giving them all these instances where they were dissatisfied with my performance, but they kept me on because I showed improvement.

They ruled that I quit with reason because it became clear that I could not meet my employer's expectations despite trying. Did not know that was a valid reason, but there you go. I learned a lot from the documents they sent me- mainly previous case studies where they specify lots of laws for leaving work voluntarily. Makes me feel slightly more powerful knowing that I can build cases for any future situations, though I SINCERELY do not want to go through this again! With any luck, this will make my former employer think twice before she bullies more people into quitting because I know there were a handful more around the same time as me.

As for the second hearing I have next week...

I am sending in my statement by mail explaining why I could not accept a sub position after my long-term one ended. I'm mailing it because I have accepted a part-time job as a production assistant for a new company and cannot be available during the time they requested (and then told me I can't change the date. Grr.)

I honestly don't know how to feel about everything now. I went through the interview process with this company so quickly and in the middle of everything and it is not in my field... Don't get me wrong, this is the best hourly wage I have been offered in YEARS, with bonuses, and everyone there seems great, but the job is currently only 20 hours a week and a half hour commute each way. I'm not even sure if this is what I want to do right now...

I'm kinda relieved, but also very confused, and not happy that this will not actually improve my financial situation other than having steady employment. Though after all the drama I went through with unemployment, maybe that in itself is worth the decision I made. Worst case, I can re-evaluate my life in a year or so. I should focus on the easier problems for now...

JadeBlue
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Location : Hartford

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Re: About to break down

Post by Guest on Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:24 am

Jade, unemployment will come to an end for you if now then eventually. I'd encourage you to take the job, have a bit assurance in your life, open yourself up to life in general, and put the past behind.

Go to work, as many of us would relish what you've been offered rather than continue rolling the dice.

Guest
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Re: About to break down

Post by JadeBlue on Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:53 am

smindles wrote:Jade, unemployment will come to an end for you if now then eventually. I'd encourage you to take the job, have a bit assurance in your life, open yourself up to life in general, and put the past behind.

Go to work, as many of us would relish what you've been offered rather than continue rolling the dice.

I already began the job. It's the reason why I cannot be present for my second hearing.

I don't think you quite understand the situation... I was only unemployed for 3 weeks. And it was not the only interview I had during that time, so I do not feel that I had no other options. I took the first thing that fell in my lap and it is not what I want to do with my life at all, nor is it what I am trained to do, and it certainly doesn't pay the bills on its own. That is my problem- I am PERPETUALLY unemployed and underemployed because these jobs never last. They're always temporary or the company I work for has financial troubles or they want someone different... And they have all come after me over my unemployment benefits. I really wish they would let me live my life!

IT IS HARD TO MOVE ON WITH LIFE WHEN YOU ARE DOING IT CONSTANTLY.

I have never worked at a place for more than a year. Ever. And I have 10 working years under my belt. These should be the formative years in my career, but they have only served to stunt my growth. I can't handle another separation, so I am extremely nervous going forward.

JadeBlue
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Re: About to break down

Post by Guest on Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:27 am

Jade, you are absolutely correct. I obviously don't know understand your predicament.

I'm sorry your current employment is not suitable to you. Your past employment history seems to be a piece of time to amend, not defend.

Thank god living in tents or being without food for days is not a part of your life.

Guest
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Re: About to break down

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