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Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

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Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:45 am

I discovered the forum today while looking at unemployment and suicide. I've had these feelings many times over the last two years I've been unemployed. Sometimes greater sometimes worse. Sometimes manageable, sometimes beyond my control.


2 years ago, at the age of 28, I severely injured my back in an accident. It caused severe damage and nerve injury. Half my left leg is paralyzed. I had to stop working to qualify for any benefits like surgery or housing. I officially became "homeless" after being a fairly well to do enterprising 28 year old that only wanted the best and worked hard every day in life. I was able to get surgery after spending 6 months in a homeless shelter. The surgery did absolutely nothing to help with my injury and my leg still remains half paralyzed, chronic nerve pain on a day to day basis.

I worked as a private contracted employee in the sales and marketing industry. I've never really had to struggle much finding employment. I'd never experienced anything as terrifying as I did. There is nothing worse than a homeless shelter in my mind. The humility you feel. The depression being surrounded by people who willfully put themselves in that situation from drug addiction, mental illness, or felony convictions. I was punished as they were all because of injuring my back.

At the cusp of my life I've basically been floored. I was finally getting my feet in the ground and doing well at the career I had chosen. Working in sales and marketing (if anyone has worked in that industry, you know it takes every ounce of yourself in order to succeed. It's not a simple thing).

So now I am over 2 years unemployed. Just turned 31. I am just a step away from total homelessness. My credit doesn't exist anymore. Life only becomes more difficult and hopeless despite whatever attempts I make to try to improve things. I'm not even sure what little steps I can take. No one will hire me. All my friends have long since abandoned me. I had so much going for me before medical problems forced me out of life and I can't really see much reason to go on anymore. I wish I had friends or people that wouldn't judge me.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by DesperateInRI on Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:05 am

Are you on Social Security Disability benefits? If not, apply now. Your senators and US representative have case aides to help you expedite this process. As a last resort, get an attorney on a contingency basis to assist you. When you are awarded SSDI, you are eligible for HUD housing, (usually 30% of your monthly income), health coverage. SNAP benefits, etc. You can work on a part-time basis, it doesn't have to be a "glamorous" job, just something that will get you out of the house so you won't be socially isolated. Through interaction with people you may meet, it will open your life to more opportunity. Good luck!

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:10 am

I don't qualify for SSDI. I'm too young. They only give SSI but it's well below poverty level. It's not enough to pay for housing.

There is a waiting list of something like 8 years to get housing.

Honestly. With such grim and nightmare prospects I don't see any reason to live. I went from working as a commisioned sales rep in the marketing industry making 40-50k a year at age 27 to sleeping at a homeless shelter with a paralyzed leg next to convicts, pedos, the most disgusting people. This is no way to live. I'd rather die at this point. I shouldn't be punished this way because of a medical problem.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by DesperateInRI on Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:56 am

You are not to young for Social Security Disability benefits! I was a social worker and most of my caseload were younger than you! Those with special needs are give priority for subsidized housing and your rent is determined by your income. Before you give give up, please look into this option.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:57 am

I've already gotten SSI. It's different than SSDI which pays a livable income. If you could give me any possible help to research housing. I live in Oregon. I can't manage to live in a homeless shelter or group home.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by zphtar on Sun Oct 28, 2012 11:06 am

Sometimes, please follow ALL of Desperate's advice. Apply, apply, apply. Granted, you're not going to get it overnight, but when you're approved, you will receive a lump sum, retro payment from the time you applied. Then the doors will open to other benefits such as housing and food help. You need to get these benefits because you have paid for them when you were working.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Sun Oct 28, 2012 11:09 am

They gave me SSI which is only $600/mo.


I've worked hard since I was 17 years old. Finally managed to do well in the sales industry and everything is just shambles now. What 31 year old guy wants to live in poverty and homelessness without prospects for even the simple things in life? It's all too much for me.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Sun Oct 28, 2012 1:36 pm

welcome to the forum....

you live in Oregon? Portland is one of the most innovative city in the US
it is my understanding...

I don't know your education status, but if you were to enroll in a local community college for just two classes. with Pell grants and loans you would receive about a 3,000$ check for each semester..

Thats an additional 6,000/12 or 500$ a month more than you have

student loan repayment can not be "taken out" of social security monthly payment for failure to repay..

that's the worst case scenario, you can attend school for several years this way

in addition deferments of repayment are available for a half dozen years..there are hardship repayment plans with as little as 10$ a month acceptable..

check out Craigslist for a room fir rent, remember there are also people out there who have extra room and could use 200-300$ a month extra


http://lowincome.org/cities/portland_or_oregon_low_income_housing.html

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:34 am

I don't think I'd qualify for any grants because my credit debt is already $10k+ paying for my housing and surgery while I was unemployed.


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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:26 am

sometimestoomuch wrote:I don't think I'd qualify for any grants because my credit debt is already $10k+ paying for my housing and surgery while I was unemployed.


the only non-qualifier i have ever heard off is if you are terribly behind on child support payment (like $20,000)
i know people behind on child support who have still gotten a loan

but other than that EVERYONE is eligible they do not run credit checks or whatever the government is in essence the co-signer

this is a matter of survival, would you reuse the government giving you a little money so they can build a couple more bombs???

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:28 am

Oh, I didn't know. So how can I get started on this? Could I do a trade school?

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:32 am

I only have HS education. But got into marketing through a friend, and that developed into commissioned sales work (high paying) I hadn't anticipated things could go as badly as they did. I lack stability in pretty much every way at this point so anything helps.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:35 am

i only suggest a community college because the y will give you money back to live on..

there are many schools that are "for profit" which will mostly keep all the money as tuition

first you have to fill out a "pell grant" form here is the link for that

right at the moment here i have to run some erands, i will be back online in a few hrs..
EDIT when ever you are looking for info or giving information look for the dot-gov at the end of the web address (not dot-com)
http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:43 am

No colleges close to where I live now on the list. I am without transportation. The nearest schools are about 200 miles away.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:35 am

i attended school all online never set foot on campus

it is posible

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:37 am

Did you get grants for that though?

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:52 am

yes, i attended a community college, then was transferred to a state university 100 miles away (4 year school) all over the internet

two classes at a time equals 6 credit hours

everything can be done over the internet ecept maybe you have to fax a document or two

i got grants and loans for ALL of it

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:53 am

Well that makes things better for me. I couldn't find any online universities on the fasfa website though.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Mon Oct 29, 2012 12:12 pm

the fafsa website is for finacial aid only

look here to see whats close

http://www.oregon.gov/ccwd/Pages/ccdirectory.aspx

i will be back in touch later today

have got some things to attend to

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by sometimestoomuch on Mon Oct 29, 2012 12:26 pm

Do you think age 31 is too old to do all of this? By the time I get a degree in anything I'll be old and probably no one will want to hire me anyways.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by Jobless_in_Ma on Mon Oct 29, 2012 1:02 pm

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear of the hardship you've been through. You sound like a very strong person emotionally. That strength will get you over this hurdle.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by elvis44102 on Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:55 pm

sometimestoomuch wrote:Do you think age 31 is too old to do all of this? By the time I get a degree in anything I'll be old and probably no one will want to hire me anyways.

i went back to school at age 40+ it takes a little getting used to but its doable

the website i posted has some bad links but it does have what appears to be

a list of all comm colleges in Oregon..with some documentation as well

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by brettm00 on Thu Nov 29, 2012 4:58 am

I live in Portland Oregon. You can contact Portland Community College. They have an excellent online program. You wouldn't even have to set foot on campus for anything. You are eligiable for federal student loans (only ineligibility is if a current loan is in default). You would qualify for Pell grants normally, but there may not any more money left for this academic year 2012-2013.

check out www.pcc.edu and give them a call. They have an 800 #.

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

Post by Guest on Thu Nov 29, 2012 11:18 am

brettm00 wrote:I live in Portland Oregon. You can contact Portland Community College. They have an excellent online program. You wouldn't even have to set foot on campus for anything. You are eligiable for federal student loans (only ineligibility is if a current loan is in default). You would qualify for Pell grants normally, but there may not any more money left for this academic year 2012-2013.

check out www.pcc.edu and give them a call. They have an 800 #.

Great advice! Get flexible (online) education, be able to keep searching for a job, and use the schooling to fill the current gap in the resume!

macky

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Re: Want to share my story and the hopelessness I'm feeling.

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