Too Depressed

I realize I have always been a loser.

AnotherMiddleAgedMan wrote:I realize I have always been a loser.

If you are depressed, i would say you may not be able to competently judge....

AnotherMiddleAgedMan wrote:I realize I have always been a loser.

Now why would you think your a loser? Is it the lack of a job during this depression? I certainly hope not. There's millions of losers out there then. Not sure they'd agree with yiu though. Keep plugging away.

I have been called a loser endless times, and get this they fcalled me a loser even knowing I had serious health problems. You are not a loser, this is a rotten system and we have millions of losers per the above. I got called a loser even today elsewhere online for talking about having money problems. Hey let them define who the losers and winners are, they are not the ones who decide everything.

I frequently feel like a loser.....between the endless job applications/resumes sent out, the contract jobs that always seem to end early which results in having to fight for unemployment benefits, to constantly worrying if this in the time when I am not going to have a roof over my head.

Loser here too. I even feel like a loser for thinking it I guess I am hopeless. For me it is compounded by knowing it could be so much worse when I see what others are going through. Still, I have some very real challenges.

I have a job, a full-time job, and I made it past the 6 month probation. Was told I was doing good for the most part, but not sure why but the two items, one which were repeated over and over as if I were a child, and the other which has me it a near flashback state. The first was that I "visit" too much with my coworker who shares my job functions. There is a bit of truth to it, so I should just accept it, but the fact that it was stated repeatedly, and I admit I guess I have some baggage. The other was about doing some things faster and comparing to the prior person in the job.

I really do not want to go too in depth. i think things are going pretty well on the job, but knowing that I am forever changed after losing a job before makes it challenging fear really kicks in.

Anyway, enough about me. Noone should be labeled as loser or any other term. The thing we have to remember also is that people do not understand how vulnerable we are in that if you are like me, I hear those negative statements and they seem like reinforcements as I am already dealing with not feeling up to snuff.

I sure wish things were easier. i do not know what to say to take a bit of the load off, but do keep posting and hang in there. We are much better than we realize.

J

I think that I can totally relate to the original posters point of view.

About three years ago, in my mid forties I was laying in bed and it hit me all of a sudden that “I'm a total loser,” and all of my efforts in life up to this point were so useless and unproductive that I might as well never have done anything at all.
The worst thing of it all is that unlike in my younger days where I would dream about possibilites for my future, I just lay there in realization that THIS WAS it. It is very likely that things aren't going to suddenly turn rosy one day and that I would be a success.

All my dreams and hopes were pipe dreams and it was time to pay for all the time that I spent being on auto pilot, living from day to day, year after year just hoping that things would change, but without actually making a solid effort to do anything about it. After all, there was always tomorrow or the next year to take some kind of action.

Then it hit me. The future was no longer in front of me but behind me and all that I can do is to look back and shake my head at what a fool I have been.

you are only "failures" if you accept the whole paradigm of the "real" world

which of course is set up by big money with no regard for people

the entire design of our economic system is set up for some to fail financially and the big money then acquires that REAL property

the money system never "creates" money to pay the interest on all of its loans, it is this interests that allows for money to accumulate at the top

realize how the "system" works and how you were an innocent bystander

King Baby wrote:I think that I can totally relate to the original posters point of view.

About three years ago, in my mid forties I was laying in bed and it hit me all of a sudden that “I'm a total loser,” and all of my efforts in life up to this point were so useless and unproductive that I might as well never have done anything at all.
The worst thing of it all is that unlike in my younger days where I would dream about possibilites for my future, I just lay there in realization that THIS WAS it. It is very likely that things aren't going to suddenly turn rosy one day and that I would be a success.

All my dreams and hopes were pipe dreams and it was time to pay for all the time that I spent being on auto pilot, living from day to day, year after year just hoping that things would change, but without actually making a solid effort to do anything about it. After all, there was always tomorrow or the next year to take some kind of action.

Then it hit me. The future was no longer in front of me but behind me and all that I can do is to look back and shake my head at what a fool I have been.

I can relate, altough it wasn't because I didn't do enough, it was because my situation held me back...living with a disabled son, my chances to live a comfortable life was limited. But I kept saying, "One day....."...and now that the one day is here...and I am barely surviving is quite depressing. I have good days and bad days. I try not to think too much about the awful possibilities that could happen any day.... homelessness, car breaking down, freezing because I can't afford oil to keep my son and I warm; I do know that I cry more often now. Family doesn't call anymore, because I have nothing good to say, I am no longer the jovial person I used to be,and apparently I depress them when they call. Funny how they never ask me if I'm the one depressed as well. I don't look forward to the Holidays, because spending time with them is not something I care about anymore. The only thing I have left is my faith that someday I will have joy in my life again, even if I'm not rich.

Sorry you are going through that Marilyn.

So many of us have been abandoned or tossed aside even by families.

They just do not get it, they live in their little bubbles.

Agree about holding faith for better things.

Hope things are going okay with your son.

Springflowers wrote:Sorry you are going through that Marilyn.

So many of us have been abandoned or tossed aside even by families.

They just do not get it, they live in their little bubbles.

Agree about holding faith for better things.

Hope things are going okay with your son.

Thanks, Spring for your caring sentiment! I am sure I am not alone, and many others are going thru the same thing, or even worse than I. Some days I am thankful I still have a roof over my head, food to eat, and a means of travel, but it is scarey to think that a drop of a pin, it could all change. And that's what I try not to think about, but obviously, we would be robots, if we could wipe out all worries and concerns permanently. My son is doing the best he can do, he has alot of issues - bipolar, anxieties,OCD, all those invisible disorders that nobody sees but me...his mother...UGH! So between jobs, and being home with him on a dailey basis, gets trying, and stressful. Usually when I am working, I have someone available for him, so I do get a break when I am away from home...but being home most of the time now, can actually be more tiring.

On top of all this, I gave up a 15 year volunteering position that I just loved and had a passion for..working with the youth... I was spending so much time there, that I couldn't spend more time looking for a job...therefore I had to make the decision to quit. I was very angry at first, knowing that if they tried hard enough, they could've provided me with a small stipend each week,and with a part time job, I could've probably made it...but the offer wasn't there. I'm over the anger now...but now dealing with the sadness of missing the youth....sooner or later I will get to "acceptance", and I can move on.

So...with all this said...HAHAH!....my family expects me to be my jovial self...HAHAH!