lost job opportunity due to a bad reference?

This is my first time posting on the board, I have been unemployed for nine months and have had several job interviews but no job offers. Finally, last week I had a great interview and was told that they were very impressed with me and the only thing they needed were references from me. They even asked if I could go to an all day training on Wednesday. They sounded so excited about hiring me and I finally thought my nightmare would be over soon. I mailed the employment application with references on Friday and then they called on Monday to ask for my references since could find my application. I emailed the references but didn't receive a response, so I emailed them again yesterday and asked if there was a problem with my references. Then I received this response yesterday afternoon: I have received your references and talked with two of them. You will be contacted soon.
I haven't received anything else from them since, so I am wondering what happened to the offer? I left on good terms with my last employer and they told me they would give me good references. Now I am left wondering if something my references said cost me the job offer as well as others during the last nine months. If they changed there mind for someother reasons, why won't they tell me. This waiting and not knowing is driving me crazy. I am very depressed and feel like I just can't deal with this anymore. This is my second job loss in three years and I have no more strength to continue to look for a job. I need advice from other job seekers, is there another explaination for this, my family doesn't get it or know what to say to help me? Gracie

Welcome aboard. You have my utterly sincere sympathies, and my best wishes. I will say a little prayer for you.

Almost none of our families really "get it". I've been out of work since April 2008 and my dear old Dad is the only one of my family that even talks to me anymore.

It's not you. It's not your fault. You are not to blame. You are not alone.

I second that. It is not really about you as much as them. The employers themselves don't know what their doing. If they did more workers would be hired without these games.

I wouldn't read too much into it just yet. It's possible they are waiting on a third reference to speak too before making the offer.

Welcome to the forum by the way!

I have a different reference problem. My best references are from jobs quite a few years ago but people have retired and its hard to keep up with them. I do email one reference every once in a while to make sure I know he's still there but I am losing my refs who are moving and not in contact anymore. I dont need anymore obstacles in this ridiculous stagnant job market.

Hello and welcome to the forum, Gracie!

Im so sorry for your pain. We all feel your frustration. You are among friends here.

I would try not to read too much into it yet. They may be waiting to talk to the third reference. If you dont hear from them within the next day or so give them a call. Try to hang in there and I wish you the best of luck!

Sorry but I believe losing documents, need more info, all a part of an excuse, if an employer wants you they will grap you instantly.

Hi gracie2615,
I went to a Work2Future job workshop yesterday and they gave advice about reference issues:
1. Call the reference before you give it to a perspective employer. Ask them if they can give you a "positive" reference. The instructor said that some previous employers say that they will give a job reference, but they won't tell you if it will be positive. They will say negative things if they didn't like you.
Prepare the reference by telling them what should be said about you such as your always being punctual, your strengths, accomplishments, term of employment, job position(s), supervisor names, etc.
2. Call the reference after sending their contact information to the perspective employer. Ask what the perspective employer asked about. You may get information about what is expected of the job applicant that isn't on the application. You may also get an insight into the hiring manager via the previous employer reference.
3. If you do or don't get the job, contact the perspective employer and ask about the reference's evaluation of you. The perspective employer that doesn't hire you might be willing to let you know what the previous employer had to say about you and why you were eliminated as a candidate.
4. If you don't have recent references or your references have retired, then you need to have previous co-workers or other references give you a good reference. Maybe they could say they worked with you and remember that you were always on time and got your work done on time and was an excellent worker, etc.
5. You may have someone you know and trust call your references and see what they actually say. This is tricky, but it doesn't have to relate to work. Possibly a club or association, but a business is best.
6. Never include a bad reference. Some employers start by calling the last reference.
7. Only give a reference sheet to perspective employer if asked. During the interview, the perspective employer may ask the supervisor's name for each of your jobs. You need to know their name, title, dept., company name and should have the phone number and/or address handy if asked.
8. Try to get 6 good references. You may only be asked for 3.
9. The "STAR" format is good: S= Skill or situation that you worked in. T=Task or trait - how you approached work, A= Actions you took or duties, R= Results of your actions such as completed tasks by putting your skills into action on the job.

Nice advice. In most cases it is not practical. It just does not work like this any more! Only time this would work for you is in an upper level management position. It is wise to ask anyone to be your reference first. Don't use them on every application, especially for staffing agencies, they bug them.

Employers don't have this HR support anymore. In many cases this is a complete waste of time. Many employers will not give you the time of day. Calling most of the time just does not work unless they are only looking at a few candidates. When they interview many, they don't have time for you like they had in the past.

Gracie, Welcome to the forum. You are not alone and we have great members who will always be willing to listen.

It's such a tough market, don't lose all hope. If you don't hear by Monday, call them. Many employers like someone who is interested enough to follow up.

Since I did this for a living, I can tell you for sure, contact three of four people and ask if they will give you a reference on your skills, type of employee, team player, works well with others etc. Most employers in this day and age will say only that you did work there, what you made and would they or would they not hire you back. Many are afraid of lawsuits, so that's all the information they will give. Best to get them lined up.

Many applicants are finding that it takes anywhere from 2-3 weeks for a decision to be made. Don't completely lose hope.

Again, welcome and let us know how you make out. In the meantime get familiar with our forum and please join in. New ideas are always welcome.

Gracie,
I spent many years in recruiting/staffing, and have checked MANY references over the years. More than likely, they are waiting to hear back from one of your references, and/or they have heard back and are preparing an official offer to present to you. (Fingers crossed). In the event that they did receive an unfavorable reference, if they are a reputable company, they will (or should) contact you to let you know that they are withdrawing the offer. Remain positive!

gracie2615 wrote:This is my first time posting on the board, I have been unemployed for nine months and have had several job interviews but no job offers. Finally, last week I had a great interview and was told that they were very impressed with me and the only thing they needed were references from me. They even asked if I could go to an all day training on Wednesday. They sounded so excited about hiring me and I finally thought my nightmare would be over soon. I mailed the employment application with references on Friday and then they called on Monday to ask for my references since could find my application. I emailed the references but didn't receive a response, so I emailed them again yesterday and asked if there was a problem with my references. Then I received this response yesterday afternoon: I have received your references and talked with two of them. You will be contacted soon.
I haven't received anything else from them since, so I am wondering what happened to the offer? I left on good terms with my last employer and they told me they would give me good references. Now I am left wondering if something my references said cost me the job offer as well as others during the last nine months. If they changed there mind for someother reasons, why won't they tell me. This waiting and not knowing is driving me crazy. I am very depressed and feel like I just can't deal with this anymore. This is my second job loss in three years and I have no more strength to continue to look for a job. I need advice from other job seekers, is there another explaination for this, my family doesn't get it or know what to say to help me? Gracie

Be patient: Sometimes when it appears hopeless then you get a surprise call. But again you never know! Its a tricky situation almost if your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't! meaning Call! They like aggressive applicant to call and yet some get angry if you call to often. But do not put them in a position to blow you off , they know they have the options and not you! Its an employers market! Also I have interviewed for jobs and been told very positive things like hey you look pretty good and I will give you a call in a few days, then nothing and you call them once and same answer then you call again a week later and they say , Sorry we found another applicant that fits this position! So what they do is keep you hanging on in case they don't find anybody and if they don't , then you get the call. But sometimes you get the disappointing answer"Sorry" we went in another direction! Yeah, right!!!

At least your references are good. Mine are gone, the last job I had they got laid off a year after I did, the manager and the assistant manager who worked with me and who knew me. I just put down friends but who knows what they say. LOL.

Sometimes while they may like you, someone in the company may decide they want the position or someone my recomend a friend for the position, unbeknownst to the interviewer at the time. On a brighter note sometimes it takes 2 weeks for them to get back to you.