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Today I decided that I'm finished.

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Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by girl16 on Thu May 12, 2011 1:17 pm

First topic message reminder :

I do not mean for this to be a melodramatic posting; I guess I really want to just put it out into the universe, and let it be what it is.

Last night, I was scrolling through the 'sent' folder of my e-mail account, and was amazed to see the number of resumes I've sent out in the past two-plus years - resumes that have gotten no response, or have led to me getting a ton of spam, or potentially scammed with theives wanting my credit card information. It's been this, or "interviews" with people who actually want me to work for free, or who are not hiring at the moment, but who are "putting together a great pool of candidates for a possible future hire", etc, etc, etc.

This past two-plus years has been a horrible nightmare - I have lost everything, despite my clawing, efforting, crying, trying, screaming, and begging to make it be otherwise. In seems, in fact, that the harder I've tried, the quicker the spiral has actually been.

A bit of history about me: I come from a very messed up and unsupportive family. I put myself through school (and have the defaulted student loans to show for it!), I am a recovered drug addict and alcoholic (I picked up when I was 11 years old, and got sober when I was 35), I have done every kind of work that a person can do (I've worked in restaurants, offices, factories, retail, etc, etc, etc), and have NEVER had a job that I've truely enjoyed, or have felt secure in, or have made a decent living at. My work life, since it began with me washing dishes in a neighborhood bar at the age of 15, has always been a struggle and a nightmare. I cannot remember a time that I haven't worried about money, keeping a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, etc. I have never had a real home of my own that I haven't eventually lost.

I am a visual artist, I love animals, books, movies, nature and really just want to live a simple, productive, and happy life, doing and enjoying what I love; for some reason, it just doesn't seem possible for me. Lately, I feel like god just hates me.

In short, my life has been a HUGE struggle, filled with trying, trying, trying, and more trying.

This morning, I decided that I am done trying. I deleted all of those 'sent' e-mails, deleted my saved resumes from my computer, and will not apply for another job.

I don't have a clue what will happen to me, but I just cannot do this anymore. I've spent most of my life, from the age of 15 to now, worrying about my future, and now I'm tired and done. Today, at this moment, I have a roof over my head, a bed, water to shower with, and my $200 in food stamps. Tomorrow? Who knows...it's in god's hands hands, because I'm done.

I wish you all the best with your continued job searches - perhaps this "recession" will be over at some point, but I only see things getting worse for people like us, with no change or help in sight. Take care.

girl16
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Posts : 12
Join date : 2011-05-02

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Sat Nov 12, 2011 5:14 pm

You hold us all up and together, Mary! We love you! Thanks for everything you do, despite the personal battles you struggle with everyday.

Everyone here is like family to me. Who else could know what we have, and continue to go through? Our families try to understand, but unless they are in the same predicament, it is hard for them to know what we face. I held it together for over 3 years, through some very difficult times, with the support of all the members I met on the original UF and here.

I thank you all. We will get through this. Have faith. I love you

Guest
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Sat Nov 12, 2011 5:18 pm

Right back to you Desp. You have helped me tremendously.

Guest
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by LRS on Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:24 am

girl16,

I made the decision to not continue on unemployment a couple of weeks ago.

I got SO tired of the fruitless job searches week, after week, after week, having to jump through hoops for the few crumbs I got from unemployment, the anxiety of counting down to the benefit year end, and the thought of having to attempt to open new claim for unemployment benefits. It was literally making me sick!

In a strange way, giving up the benefits for the last 6 weeks of my claim, and deciding not to try to open a new claim, in hopes of MAYBE continuing on the Fed-ED extension that I just started, has given me a feeling of freedom that I haven't had since I started collecting unemployment.

I have absolutely NO idea what is going to happen for me going forward, and I don't have the energy to worry about it. I'm a survivor though, and I have always managed to have what I need to get by. Sounds to me like you are also a survivor.

I wish you the very best, and hope that you continue to hang in there, stay strong in your sobriety, and continue to take care of yourself.

LRS
Member

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Join date : 2011-08-31
Location : California

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by nfpexec on Tue Nov 15, 2011 3:56 pm

I have nothing profound or enlightening to say. I think we all feel your pain and I wish you the best because I am exactly where you are. I'm exhausted. i see no hope.

nfpexec
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Location : new york

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:00 pm

I agree nfpexec. We are all exhausted. I wish that any of us had the right thing to say or change this, sadly, we don't.

I can say however, I am not going to take this lying down. If you are having a bad day, I will advocate for all who can't. I would love you help and input, but if you can't, you can't.

I just don't want to see any of our members, who have become family, give up completely. Even if you can't advocate, please keep posting, stay in touch. Sometimes just having friends to share with makes it easier. I could never tell anyone what their threshold is or should be, but please know, all of you are important to me, to all of us here.

Guest
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:59 am

I am praying for all of you, for all of us and our families. I hope you will forgive the shameless plug you are about to read, but if you have one last bit of umph left, if you can muster just 15 minutes of anger, please help yourself and all of us. I know it's hard and asking alot, but we could get some relief. Again, thank you for allowing me to do this in the venting forum. mk

Good Morning friends. Off to Dad's.

We have had many additional requests for stories. The topics are scrolling to the left.

In addition, please read the topic on Barbara Lee and HR589. She needs a thank you and a tweet. Please send the 99ers letter to:
@RepBarbaraLee.

While you are at it, on the complete list of contacts, the last two pages have the listing of the Super Committee, Democrats Refusing to Support the American Jobs Act and Republican Who Didn't Sign the Grover Norquist Pledge. When I return tomorrow, that's who I am targeting specifically.

Two more things on the to do list:

All members of CBC and Progressive Caucus. The complete list shows Party, Committees etc. It's easy to pick them out. Keith Ellison and Raul Grijalva, Progressive Caucus.

As always, the President and Vice President need to get the letter too.
@BarackObama @VP.

I know I am asking alot, but it's less time consuming than all 20 pages and I need help. I cannot do this alone and I've said many times, one voice won't get noticed nearly as well as many.

It's our fight to win or lose. I will be back and ready to "go to the mattress" tomorrow. I cannot be here today. Hope you understand and can help me out.

Much love to all.

mk

Guest
Guest


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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by blazr63 on Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:45 am

The sands of time
Were eroded by
The river of constant change

If what you tried didn't work.. try something else.

blazr63
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Age : 53

http://contractor-bsci.blogspot.com

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by wausauguy on Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:41 pm

Marykay Your last response had left me with a few tears of joy because I felt someone actually understood where I was coming from. I read it when I was volunteering at church Fri 11/18. I wanted to respond but I was without words.

So many of you that post here make me feel like someone gets what I am dealing with. I like reading positive things, but sometimes I get to feeling like my being unemployed is "my doing" and the realities that many of you share with honesty are what keeps me from falling into despair. We are good people... opportunities please find your way to us.

wausauguy
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Posts : 197
Join date : 2011-04-24

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:54 pm

wausau, it's not "your doing" unless you belong to a club with millions of members who all got together in 2008 and decided, nah, don't want to work anymore. I know when you read blogs, comments, articles etc it's easy to feel that way, but please don't give in. For one, that's why we are here and for two, if we give in and give up, they win. But even if they win, the problem doesn't go away and isn't solved.

So, if you feel you can't do it another day, walk away, take a walk, watch Lifetime (lol) or send me a pm and I will include you letter, story or whatever you want in my tweets and emails. We all need a break. Hope you feel better and please, keep posting, I like to hear from all my friends.

Guest
Guest


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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by DD on Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:21 pm

As MK said, this is not "our doing" and totally agree with taking the much needed breaks we all deserve;).
I have found through my volunteer opportunities that there is a much bigger group of people who are going through what we are and then some...I am trying to be extremely appreciative of even the little things and big things (being able to wake up, breathe & do all I can do physically), so that I can not only continue searching, but also to volunteer and help others...it is very uplifting and I would recommend this to anyone, whatever the job situation may be.
It gives me the break I desperately need and keeps me from feeling too sorry for myself.
Good luck to everyone....with 2012 being an election year, I wonder if things will ever improve for us?
DD

DD
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by wausauguy on Tue Dec 06, 2011 6:12 pm

I agree the volunteer opportunities do help.

Being appreciative of the little things is a good thing. I think having the routine and security swept out is a big wake up call.

I have a different view of being unemployment and hardship. I find myself wondering about all the advice and the things we were trained to believe regarding careers and more.

For me, I find all the political talk just a distraction. I don't expect help, but I still believe there is a need for some safety nets like national health coverage.

I do expect things to be better for us, but it will mostly be by our own doing and maybe some help from others who have dealt with job loss in the last couple of years.

I am so glad that people share here.

J


Last edited by wausauguy on Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:40 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typo)

wausauguy
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:21 pm

DD and wausau, it's people like you who keep people coming back and feeling like they have a home. So glad to have you here. You both have much worth to me and the forum. We all need friends like you.

Guest
Guest


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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by wausauguy on Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:21 am

I wish I had good news to share. A paper mill is closing here, the announcement was made this evening. My understanding is the employees found out via the press release. While it had already been sold in recent weeks and their was hints of issues for a few years it is still hard to accept. This mill was what created this little town that is just a few minutes from Wausau.

I know it is not me this time but it still makes me sick. I know it is selfish but I cannot help but feel like now it will be even tougher to compete with that many more for jobs.

My heart is breaking for all these people. My dad worked in a paper mill and my cousins dad and on and on. It is sad to see what is happening with all the changes. I know we have to go with it. But, it is hard when I see lost good paying jobs with benefits.

I am praying for myself and all those who are seeking work or losing their jobs.

http://www.wsaw.com/home/headlines/Brokaw_Mill_to_Permantely_Close_in_March_135202388.html

http://www.waow.com/story/16212364/wausau-paper-sells-brokaw-mill-plant-to-close-march-31-2012


wausauguy
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:33 am


Thank you, waushau. (folks please read wausha's post just prior.

This is what killed my hometown Pittsburgh. The steel mills, the selling to offshore, the UNIONS, and the smoke!

America is only what it is today, not yesterday. Let's make it so!

Guest
Guest


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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by DD on Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:31 pm

Wausau...I am sorry to hear about the paper mill closing near you...and I can share you sentiments about having to compete with even more people...we share something common, however, I don't feel it is selfish to feel this way, as it just gets harder to regain income and stability in our lives. Have you heard anything about your interview? Keep us posted:)
MK...thanks for the kind thoughts...it is uplifting and encouraging to have people to "talk" to:)
DD

DD
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:45 pm

MaryKay wrote:DD and wausau, it's people like you who keep people coming back and feeling like they have a home. So glad to have you here. You both have much worth to me and the forum. We all need friends like you.


X2!!!

Thank you all for supporting one another through this dark time. It makes all the difference in the world to have members like you, all of you!!! Its nice to know that there is a place to go where people will understand what you are going through.


Guest
Guest


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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by wausauguy on Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:11 pm

I had a good couple of days overall.

To me I feel strange with that mill closing. I know when I was given my notice and then came home to watch the news making the annoucncement that the certain brand was being eliminated it felt like a death, now we have a complete mill and the immediate community which was built basically by the mill. I turn the tv on, and go about the day and have to admit sometimes like when I lost my job, when my dad died, I feel like the world should stop or something. It just keeps going on, and that is actually good but it seems somehow not respectful of what has happened.

As for the job, I think it will be a few weeks before I know anything. They are not planning to start the person until mid January.

I just turned on the tv and and now another place, a window maufacturer is going to cut 550 jobs.

They estimate $27million a year will be lost in this area for the paper mill closing alone.

Seems like the second I feel a little hopeful another hit. I have to be honest, I am scared. I guess I have to just concern myself with day to day.

I want to also share something, a couple articles about "giving advice" which I found interesting because sometimes it seems people only make feelings worse by giving advice when really what is needed is someone to listen without judging.

http://www.aish.com/f/mom/92952149.html

http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/givingadvice.htm

It is Friday night. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Thanks for listening.

J

wausauguy
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Guest on Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:38 pm

I'm not trying to make you feel even more awful about your great WI community, but here is another town that will be suffering come Jan 1st.

http://www.myfoxspokane.com/news/kcpq-kimberlyclark-says-it-is-closing-everett-paper-mill-750-workers-to-lose-jobs-20111208,0,821584.story

Guest
Guest


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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by wausauguy on Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:03 pm

"After further evaluating our needs, we have decided to pursue additional candidates and will be opening this recruitment to allow other applicants to apply"

This is the response I received from a part-time entry level job that i interviewed for. So, they are saying that none of those interviewed were good enough?????????


wausauguy
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by YousinMach on Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:11 am

That's terrible. Maybe they felt no one was part-time material and would jump when a better opportunity came along.

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Praying for you!!

Post by Soliciting ID - 1 on Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:40 pm

* moderated - solicitation (desperateinri) *

Soliciting ID - 1
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Sandra5yearsunemployed on Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:18 am

girl16 wrote:I do not mean for this to be a melodramatic posting; I guess I really want to just put it out into the universe, and let it be what it is.

Last night, I was scrolling through the 'sent' folder of my e-mail account, and was amazed to see the number of resumes I've sent out in the past two-plus years - resumes that have gotten no response, or have led to me getting a ton of spam, or potentially scammed with theives wanting my credit card information. It's been this, or "interviews" with people who actually want me to work for free, or who are not hiring at the moment, but who are "putting together a great pool of candidates for a possible future hire", etc, etc, etc.

This past two-plus years has been a horrible nightmare - I have lost everything, despite my clawing, efforting, crying, trying, screaming, and begging to make it be otherwise. In seems, in fact, that the harder I've tried, the quicker the spiral has actually been.

A bit of history about me: I come from a very messed up and unsupportive family. I put myself through school (and have the defaulted student loans to show for it!), I am a recovered drug addict and alcoholic (I picked up when I was 11 years old, and got sober when I was 35), I have done every kind of work that a person can do (I've worked in restaurants, offices, factories, retail, etc, etc, etc), and have NEVER had a job that I've truely enjoyed, or have felt secure in, or have made a decent living at. My work life, since it began with me washing dishes in a neighborhood bar at the age of 15, has always been a struggle and a nightmare. I cannot remember a time that I haven't worried about money, keeping a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, etc. I have never had a real home of my own that I haven't eventually lost.

I am a visual artist, I love animals, books, movies, nature and really just want to live a simple, productive, and happy life, doing and enjoying what I love; for some reason, it just doesn't seem possible for me. Lately, I feel like god just hates me.

In short, my life has been a HUGE struggle, filled with trying, trying, trying, and more trying.

This morning, I decided that I am done trying. I deleted all of those 'sent' e-mails, deleted my saved resumes from my computer, and will not apply for another job.

I don't have a clue what will happen to me, but I just cannot do this anymore. I've spent most of my life, from the age of 15 to now, worrying about my future, and now I'm tired and done. Today, at this moment, I have a roof over my head, a bed, water to shower with, and my $200 in food stamps. Tomorrow? Who knows...it's in god's hands hands, because I'm done.

I wish you all the best with your continued job searches - perhaps this "recession" will be over at some point, but I only see things getting worse for people like us, with no change or help in sight. Take care.


I am going to ask you to stop posting on this website. I'm sure most of the people on this website are looking for REAL JOBS for REAL PAY, not looking for some "online business opportunity crap". And that is what it is. Crap. It's a SCAM. If you are reading this now, I'd be VERY VERY leery of doing anything online and anything that has to do with "online marketing". If it does not pay hourly, don't do it.

Sandra5yearsunemployed
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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by DesperateInRI on Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:45 am

Sandra, Girl16 did not do any soliciting. The individual I changed to "Soliciting ID - 1" did. Please don't ask members to stop posting on this forum. If you think you sense a problem please help the administrators as you have in the past and PM me.

Thanks!

_________________


“Everyone's moving on without me, into a world I don't understand.”

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

Post by Sky Fairlane on Tue Oct 02, 2012 4:48 pm

I too have been demoralized by not being able to find a job. And yes, I have said I'm giving up, but inevitably I keep looking. It is very discouraging to humble oneself before hiring managers who hold the jobs just out of your reach and make you jump thru flaming hoops JUST to apply for the position.

Then after doing all they ask you to do - the job goes to a friend or family member who has little or no qualifications for it. It sickens me. I am so angry I could spit! I think about giving up every day. However, I still keep wishing and hoping and trying, because I'm afraid not to. Hang in there.

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Re: Today I decided that I'm finished.

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